Look at these cuties, all dressed up and ready for this year's Daddy Daughter Dance! Tom traveled for work all week, but he made it home just in time to "suit up" and take his best girl out for a night on the town.
Two
Hallie and I, along with a few of our friends, popped into Board and Brush on Saturday for a quick bunny painting session - I love how our Easter projects turned out!
Three
Last week Hallie and her friend, Tessa, spent a good 30 minutes dressing Tux up in American Girl accessories. He could have easily run away from them, but instead he stayed put, seemingly enjoying himself and all his new outfits and activities.
Singing with the microphone.
Prepping for his soccer game.
(Can you see that in addition to
cleats, he's wearing shin guards?!)
Decorating a gingerbread house.
Not sure what's happening
here, but he sure looks cool.
Four
Happy birthday Hallie!
Celebrating at Mini Company rehearsal.
Traditional "room full of balloons to make it hard to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night".
Traditional morning birthday candle, powdered sugar donuts, and bacon.
Mini bundt cakes to share with her classmates.
Her favorites - a pint of rice, a pint of beans, and fresh, homemade tortillas - for dinner.
Tried something a little different for my flower-loving girl this year -
it's a strawberry cake with a "natural edge" and decorated like a zinnia.
Happy 10th birthday, Hallie!
Five
Happiness Highlights
Tux struggles when it's time for Will to leave for school.
Check out my new specs! I don't need them to correct
my vision (thank you, LASIK), but to protect my eyes
from blue light while working at the computer. Hallie
said I look like I "do something in business".
My dad and I don't usually talk on
the phone, but I like it when we do.
I LOVE this sign.
It's hard to believe Hallie's sixth year of
dance and third year of Mini Company will
end soon. I love these sweet little girls, and
the time I get to spend with their mamas.
So proud of her for competing in the district chess tournament!
Today my baby girl turns 10 years old. 10 years old. Double digits. Two whole hands.
Holy smokes.
She is kind, tender, clever, and creative. She is strong and brave. She works hard and plays hard. She loves to move her body with wild abandon, but also to sit quietly with her thoughts. She fears the unknown, but is not afraid to stand her ground. She reacts ferociously when something upsets her or rocks her boat, and exuberantly when something pleases or pleasantly surprises her. Her emotions cannot be tamed, and we have learned over the years to let her (in a manner that doesn't hurt her or anyone else) feel every last one of them.
For the first nine years of her life, I would have added to the description above that Hallie wears everything she feels - from jubilation to despair to outrage - on her sleeve. But throughout the last 12 months, I have noticed a change in this one area. This year she began to develop a shield, to alter what she shares with the world.
Only a few people can see through it. I can. Her best friends can. A couple of my best friends - who see her regularly and for extended periods of time - can, and interestingly, her long-time dance teacher usually can as well. (Take from that what you will about how much time Hallie spends dancing.) But she wears her shield well, and even her daddy and brother can't always tell when what's on the surface doesn't match what's underneath.
I can almost certainly pinpoint when and where Hallie first needed her shield. Since she saw our elementary school's annual production of Piggie Pie as a kindergartener, Hallie dreamed of one day taking the stage as the show's antagonist, Gritch. The character looks like a cross between the Wicked Witch of the West and Pigpen and is an animated, emotional, hot mess of a villain. Hallie knew she was born to play the part (as did many other parents, teachers, and students, who regularly told her so) and she wanted nothing more than to tangle her hair, don a black cape, and cackle her head off in front of the entire school. She even mentioned her plans to audition to her teachers when we met with them at the beginning of the school year.
On the day the roles were announced - she tried out for both Gritch and the Narrator - Hallie arrived home with her shield in place. She said goodbye to her friends wearing a smile...the kind of smile that involves only the lips and hides deeper, darker emotions...but when the backdoor finally closed behind her, Hallie turned to me and let her shield crash catastrophically to the floor. For a full hour, her whole body sobbed. For a full hour, I held her on my lap as she cried every last angry and heartbroken tear.
Needless to say, Hallie had not received either role. Adding to her pain was the fact that a good friend had been offered the part of Gritch and her two best friends at school would split the part of the Narrator.
Later that evening as I cleaned out Hallie's backpack, I found a note addressed to me from one of Hallie's teachers. Among other things, it read:
I remember meeting with you at the beginning of the year. The part of that conversation I most strongly remember is how badly Hallie wanted to be Gritch. When Mrs. S. announced roles today Hallie responded with such maturity, selflessness, and graciousness.
She stayed strong from the moment her teacher read the cast list out loud until the moment she reached the safety of our home. She carried her shield to prevent her sorrow from diminishing the joy of those around her. Simultaneously my heart ached with pain and swelled with pride.
This experience occurred more 10 months ago, just six weeks after Hallie's ninth birthday, but I somehow knew it would in many ways define her 10th year on earth. On that day she tested out and discovered the efficacy of her shield, and since then she has used it a number of times. I know a shield is frequently beneficial and occasionally necessary. But I also know that Hallie's emotional depth and breadth are arguably her most defining characteristics; they are tightly woven into the fabric of her being and have become one/two of the things we love most about her.
The value of emotions comes from sharing them, not just having them. ~ Simon Sinek My wish for Hallie's 11th year is that we - she, with my help - can find a balance. A way to use her shield when appropriate or necessary, and only then. A way to protect, respect, and celebrate those around her while also protecting, respecting, and celebrating her emotionally overflowing heart.
******
Seven years ago I began the tradition (2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018) of sharing a song - one that reminds me of her and encompasses what I hope for her as she grows older - with Hallie on her birthday. I usually know Hallie's songs by the end of the first time I hear them, primarily because they bring tears to my eyes. I heard Boat Song for the first time shortly after Hallie's ninth birthday and when it came across my Facebook feed. I had been sitting in bed working on my laptop when the song began to play, and when the last notes faded I looked down and saw a little puddle of my tears on the mousepad. When I know, I know, and on that day, I knew.
Boat Song by JJ Heller
If you were a boat, my darlin', a boat my darlin', I'd be the wind at your back. If you were afraid, my darlin', afraid my darlin', I'd be the courage you lack. If you were a bird, then I'd be a tree, and you would come home, my darlin' to me. If you were asleep, then I'd be a dream, wherever you are that's where my heart will be. Do you know we belong together? Do you know my heart is yours? If you were the ocean, I'd be the sand. If you were a song, I'd be the band. If you were the stars, then I'd be the moon, A light in dark, my darlin' for you. Do you know we belong together? Do you know my heart is yours?
I will always be the wind at her back. I will always be the courage she lacks. And like the bird and the tree, the ocean and the sand, the stars and the moon, she and I will always belong together. My heart will always be hers.
Happy 10th birthday, baby girl. Mama loves every single thing about you.
Last weekend Hallie and I headed out to The Gardens to take pictures of the budding spring flowers. The weather didn't exactly cooperate (the temperatures dipped into the 40s and despite the clouds, the light was a bit too bright), but Hallie did when I asked if I could also take a few pics of her. No fancy hairstyles, no stage make-up, no carefully chosen outfits - just Hallie, in her last days as a nine-year-old.
One
Our weekend certainly didn't go as planned, but with Hallie's injury came unexpected "free time" that she and I spent sleeping in, watching movies in bed, going for walks, shopping for her Daddy Daughter Dance dress and shoes, helping Tom pick out a suit, and playing board games. With the promise of holding our annual garage sale/lemonade stand and making the trek to IFLY and the Magical Unicorn Dessert Bar (all activities that we had planned for last Saturday and Sunday) later this spring, Hallie was able to enjoy the weekend as well.
I LOVE the pantsuit Hallie chose to wear to the
Daddy Daughter Dance - it's hip and fun and a little
outside of her comfort zone, and she's going to rock it!
Additionally, at our ortho on Monday morning we learned that Hallie wouldn't need a cast and could get by wearing just her brace for a few weeks. At first Hallie was a little disappointed about not having her wrist casted (she really wanted her friends to sign it), but after I explained that casts are like crutches - they sound fun and are even kind of cool to have/use at first, but after a few days the novelty wears off and you find yourself counting down the days until you can get rid of them - she agreed that staying in the brace sounded much like a much better course of action.
Two
A couple of months ago, an children's author named Crystal Allen visited several of our local schools to talk to the students about her career as a writer. She also shared with them an opportunity to compete in her Strikewriters writing competition. Will and his friend, Ben, wrote a story and submitted it to the competition, and that story was chosen as one of their school's winners. Last Thursday the boys and the other winners had lunch with Ms. Allen, received a signed copy of one of her books, and had their stories posted on her website: www.crystalallenbooks.com (click on the Strikewriter tab and scroll down to Cypress Grove Intermediate School). Yet another valuable opportunity provided to our students thanks to our fantastic school district!
Three
Hallie's story wasn't selected as one of her school's winners - a tough day in the House of Ferri - but on Friday she did receive an Outstanding 'Rangler award for being "respectful, responsible, and reaching for success". A proud week for me as a mama!
With her wonderful teacher, Mrs. DeVerna.
Hallie and Kara
Hallie and Tessa
(Funny that Hal's two best friends at school both
received Outstanding 'Rangler that day as well!)
Four
On Tuesday evening, Will and his seven-member strings ensemble shared the piece they've been working on - almost entirely on their own - throughout the semester. It's hard to believe how far these kids have come in just a year and a half, and I look forward to hearing even more music from them in the coming years. Will surprised me by choosing to stick with the cello in 6th grade, instead of switching to percussion in band, but the amount of practicing he's done both at home and at school this year has proven how much he loves his instrument and orchestra in general.
Five Happiness Highlights
Pre-injury, Hallie made her third Raddish meal for us: taco
salad, egg cups, and fruit tartlets, all of which were delicious!
When I wouldn't let Hallie do elaborate dances (less than
48 hours-post injury), she and Avery decided on Pie in the Sky.
It was hilarious and messy and neither seemed to care
that they had to use shaving cream and not whipped cream.
My aunt's dog has developed anxiety as she's gotten older, so
my aunt "built" this body double of herself to help ease some
of that anxiety. Her love for animals has always inspired me.
I had this cat hair towel set aside for Hallie's Easter basket, but last Friday
I changed my mind and gave it to her when we got home from urgent care.
This is the first smile she'd flashed in hours, and oh, how I needed to see it.
Last Saturday the kids and I wanted donuts, but I was
unwilling to get dressed and drive to the donut shop. I
joked with Will, "too bad you can't drive there yourself",
which made him realize that while he couldn't drive there, he
could bike there. He loaded up, and 20 minutes later returned
with a dozen donuts. Oh, what a glorious development!
Happy Friday, friends! Linking up with High Five for Friday here.
Writing
I didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked this month, but I stayed afloat. Sometimes that's enough, right? Right?
Reading
I had big plans to read multiple books over spring break, but for the same reasons I didn't write much in March, I also didn't read much in March. I did, however, finally have the opportunity to finish a book that has held a top spot on my "to read" list for years: The Zookeeper's Wife, about Polish zookeepers Jan and Antonia Zabinski, who used their one resource to save more than 300 people from the certain death at the hands of the Nazis. The Zookeeper's Wife tells an incredible story of bravery and compassion...and it happens to be true.
Watching
While Tom's dad and brother were visiting, we watched Free Solo, a documentary chronicling rock climber Alex Honnold's quest to scale Yosemite's El Capitan...without the support and/or security of ropes, harnesses, or protective equipment. The film received multiple nominations and awards, and I can definitely understand why; if you find yourself searching for an exciting, educational, inspirational, and family-friendly (though the movie does include a few swear words), you can find Free Solo on Amazon Video or National Geographic.
Did you hear? The Babysitters' Club (as a live-action series, I believe) is coming to Netflix and I can't wait! News that Netflix plans to release only one additional season of Fuller House crushed both Hallie and me, so learning about the streaming service's plans to bring back The Babysitters' Club lifted our spirits a little.
Listening To
I finally finished season one of Up and Vanished, and while I thought about switching gears and listening to something a little more inspirational and uplifting for a few weeks, in the end I dove right into season two. I promise to have a new podcast recommendation in April's Monthly Medley!
Wearing
I love my new soccer mom (though the message would work for any team sport parent) shirt.
Will, on the other hand, doesn't appreciate the humor. Perhaps because he's just like me, and doesn't yet know that my plan is to personalize my shirt by adding to the back, "Just kidding. I'm not that kind of mom."
I bought this shirt from 6 Dollar Shirts, which seemed to me like kind of a sketchy company at first, but in the end I was incredibly pleased with the ease of ordering, speed of delivery, and quality of shirt. I have no affiliation with this company - I'm just a happy customer!
Trying/Using
In need of new carpet? We purchased Stainmaster from Lowe's, and are thus far extremely happy with the product. I have also been pleased with the Lowe's installation team - this was our third flooring purchase from Lowe's throughout the last eight years, and each time we've had the same professional, courteous, efficient team of installers.
Eating/Drinking
No new recipes this month (a week of sick family members followed by spring break and almost two weeks of company meant I stuck with my tried and true recipes), BUT...a few weeks ago some friends and I sampled this beer at a local tasting. We usually have differing opinions when it comes to this kind of beverage, but Wittekerke Wild received an overwhelmingly positive review from almost everyone. It's light and bright and perfect for spring!
Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street...and then getting hit by an airplane.
Yep, that about sums it up.
Our weekend/week/month changed direction dramatically when on Friday night, while creating what I'm sure would have been an incredible dance in an even more spectacular theatrical production, Hallie fell off of a chair and broke her wrist. Thankfully the break itself seems to be a pretty standard buckle fracture, but we'll see ortho this week for casting and a check of her growth plates in that wrist. In the meantime, she's in good spirits and rockin' a snazzy brace, taking her ibuprofen, icing her wrist, and (reluctantly) sitting through her dance classes.
Hallie is also feeling the love from our village (as am I), and for that we're both extraordinarily grateful. The beautifully generous people in our lives show up when we need them, with goodies, yes, but also with support and encouragement and love. It's during times like these that I can't imagine living anywhere else.
Next Friday I'm going to look both ways and up before I cross the street.
