Sweet 16

In preparing to write this post, I happened upon a description of 16 years old as "middle aged teen." It's fitting, really: at 16 years old you have three years of teenhood behind you and three years of teenhood ahead of you. It's also fitting for Hallie, who, while a middle aged teen, also has quite a few middle aged woman tendencies...maybe that's why my girl and I get along so well.

I've written this about her time and time again, and it remains true that Hallie has no interest in growing older. Where many (most?) of us don't recognize and appreciate the beauty of childhood until it has come to an end, in a wise-beyond-her-years sort of way, Hallie has seemingly always known just how precious and fleeting these years are, and that she can never go back.

And yet, she has a beautifully old soul. She likes quiet evenings at home, baking cookies and watching reruns of her favorite (circa 1996) sitcoms on television. She gravitates toward smaller, intimate gatherings with her closest friends than large, rowdy social events. I wouldn't describe her as completely confident in her own skin, though she manages to give that impression most of the time.

~

While not without its challenges, this year brought more joy and less strife than the previous one.

She said goodbye to a dance studio she'd considered her second home for more than a decade, and while making the transition to a new dance studio was emotionally strenuous, she ended up exactly where she was meant to be. 

She pushed and stretched herself a dancer, taking on her first demi-soloist and lead roles and competing for the first time. She may not yet know exactly where this road will lead - or where she hopes it will lead - but every time an opportunity presented itself she took the next step forward...even when doing so felt scary.

She has done academically well, but just as importantly for Hallie, she has done socially well, finally finding friends within the high school arena. She auditioned for and was cast in the musical (High School Musical), an experience that forced her outside of her comfort zone and helped her develop stronger relationships with kids who have similar interests and most of whom are kind and inclusive.

She has proven herself as the best little sister, and while I don't think Will understands or appreciates it yet, she has been a rock - a quiet voice, a tender heart, a calm and steady presence - for him throughout the emotional journey that is senior year of high school. The hardest part about Will leaving for college will be ending my night without hearing her call, "goodnight, Will. I love you" - which she does, without fail, every night - before she climbs into bed.

She is genuinely sweet. Not in a fake, syrupy way, but in a kind and authentic way. Her heart is tender, and she cares deeply for...all of it: family, friends, animals, the earth, humanity. She finds the good, even after she's been burned or hurt. She is strong and brave and capable, not in a bold or flamboyant way, but in a quiet, modest way. People think we look alike (we don't agree), and we certainly share the above-mentioned middle aged tendencies, but when it comes to personality, she is exactly who I hope to be when I grow up.

~

13 years ago I began the tradition (2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024) of sharing a song - one that reminds me of her and encompasses what I hope for her as she grows older - with Hallie on her birthday. This year's song was an obvious choice for my sweetest 16 year old.

 

Sweet Sixteen

Momma never lies and daddy's superhuman

Time is just something to waste

And you don't know it's moving

As sure as the grass grows back and the hot sun sets

Your five best friends will be your best friends forever

Remember?

Wasn't that sweet sixteen?

Just candles and a never-broke heart

First miles on a hand-me-down car

Tryna cross those county lines

Summer nights, shotgun seats

Stealing one more kiss before curfew

Covering smoke with my sister's perfume

No ceiling on that big blue sky

Before I found out getting out of that small town

Really wasn't that sweet

Wasn't that sweet sixteen?

Turning off the news in my one-bedroom apartment

Damn, I wish I knew how good I had it back then

Back when

I was dying to be one of the popular girls

And the game rained out was the end of the world

Wasn't that sweet sixteen?

Just candles and a never-broke heart

First miles on a hand-me-down car

Tryna cross those county lines

Summer nights, shotgun seats

Stealing one more kiss before curfew

Covering smoke with my sister's perfume

No ceiling on that big blue sky

Before I found out getting out of that small town

Really wasn't that sweet

Wasn't that sweet sixteen?

~

Today she turns sweet 16. And she deserves the sweetest of years to come.