Shockingly, I didn't scream or drop the groceries. I did, however, panic: I stopped breathing (which I didn't realize until later), tightened my grip on the bags, and started spinning around in a circle while swiping at my shoulder with my full hands. On the third "circle and swipe" I managed to knock the lizard off my shoulder, but as often happens when lizards are traumatized, the tail of this lizard popped right off its body and started wiggling around on the garage floor. The body of this lizard didn't land on the garage floor though...it landed IN. MY. GROCERIES.
NO. Just no.
|Yes, the he's kind of small. But he FELL FROM THE SKY
ONTO MY SHOULDER which made him seem much bigger.
|Unloading my groceries onto the floor in order
to figure out into which bag the lizard dropped.
|Waiting for the lizard to head on home.
I dropped the bag faster than a hot potato, and the lizard - who at this point had survived falling/jumping from the sky onto my shoulder, repeated swipings, tail amputation, falling from my shoulder into the groceries, flying through the air and landing in the driveway in a grocery bag, and a rough pinching - finally emerged, much worse the wear.
I gathered my bags and my groceries, stumbled inside the house, and collapsed onto a kitchen chair...definitely much worse the wear myself.