Let's pause for a moment to consider what must go into creating a piece of candy that tastes like vomit...
When I gifted him his very first box of beans, Tom's excitement mirrored Will's when he received his Nintendo 3DS from Santa last Christmas. Tom had no idea the beans even existed, but as soon as he laid eyes on the box's Flavor Guide the wheels in his head began to spin. Just weeks later, Tom unveiled his first and most basic version of "The Bean Game" to friends at a campus party.
The rules were simple. Without looking, player #1 dumped one bean from the box into his hand. (If more than one bean escaped the box, player #1 put all but one of the beans back inside, again without looking. The punishment for looking was eating a second bean on that turn.) Then, player #1 compared his bean to the pictures in the Flavor Guide and announced the flavor to the group. Tasty flavors like lemon drop, tutti fruitti, and cinnamon were met with "awww, man!" and "lucky!", while disgusting flavors like sardine, grass, and earwax were met with "YES!!", "AWESOME!", and "I've never been so happy in all my life!". To wish a vomit bean on your opponents was part of the game, and let's just say that Tom played the game well.
After player #1 finished eating his bean, he passed the box to person on his left. The process repeated itself until all of the beans had been eaten.
You're probably thinking, what kind of deranged idiot would play such an distasteful (pun intended) game?! You'd be surprised. Over the years, Tom charmed hundreds of people - parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, friends, enemies, wedding guests, and strangers at bars - into participating in The Bean Game.
Tom also uses a version of The Bean Game as a wager when betting against his brothers, sister, friends, and wife. My alma mater football team beat your alma mater football team? You eat a bean. I beat you at Uno? You eat a bean. I skunked you in Cribbage? You eat a bean. He may be a gentleman from time to time, but never when it comes to The Bean Game.
|Poor Will lost to Tom at Cribbage. Here he's trying not to let his daddy|
see the tears in his eyes as he struggles to swallow his dog food bean.
|Tom somehow ate around the beans we'd hidden in his cupcake.|
|Tom, annoyingly confident as he prepares to eat his bean...|
|…and annoyingly jubilant after realizing it tasted like strawberry jam.|
|The fateful five.|
|Preparing for bean #2 (bean #1 tasted like banana). Please excuse Tom's |
too-tight shirt - it's mine, and I can't quite remember why he was wearing it.
|Dog food, baby.|
After years of watching the game play out and perfecting his own "poker face", Will's ready to take the helm. He skunked his Grandpa while playing Cribbage and insisted that Grandpa eat a bean, and then a couple of weeks ago we introduced a few of his friends to the beans. He may be a gentleman from time to time - he may even hold an umbrella over her head and carry her backpack from time to time - but when Kaylee agreed to play The Bean Game Will couldn't resist yelling "no face, no chase!" while she chewed her booger bean. Like father, like son.