"On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Bad is Your Pain?"

Are you familiar with the pain scale?

Simply put, the pain scale allows patients to describe the severity of their pain to medical professionals by attaching it to a number between 1 and 10.  0 = no pain, 1-3 = minor pain, 4-6 = moderate pain, and 7-10 = severe pain.

If you want to get into the nitty gritty of the pain scale, you can break the numbers down in one of two ways: words or pictures.

• 0 = no pain
• 1 = very mild
• 2 = discomforting
• 3 = tolerable
• 4 = distressing
• 5 = very distressing
• 6 = intense
• 7 = very intense
• 8 = utterly horrible
• 9 = excruciating/unbearable
• 10 = unimaginable/unspeakable

This pain scale seems pretty straightforward to me, but perhaps that's because with a nurse for a mom, I know no other way than to describe my pain using numbers.

But if the numbers aren't your thing, I've created a new pain scale specifically for parents:

• 0 = no pain
• 1 = losing a game of Memory to a five-year-old
• 2 = having the back of your car seat kicked...over, and over, and over again
• 3 = getting your finger stuck in a hungry, hungry hippo's mouth
• 4 = being unexpectedly sprayed in the face with ice cold water from the hose
• 5 = having your heel clipped by a shopping cart
• 6 = having your foot run over by a scooter
• 7 = having a plastic fire truck driven into your shin
• 8 = being bitten by a nursing baby
• 9 = having your toe broken by a toddler
• 10 = stepping on a Lego

I'm sure you can figure out what inspired me to write this post. And if you can't, come on by my house tomorrow afternoon - I'll sell you our give you our pay you to take our Legos.