Few Words Wednesday: Nine Faces of Nine Years Old

Thank you for your kind words, emails, text messages, Facebook messages, and Facebook posts in support of Hallie on her birthday! They mean the world to me, and Hallie sends her thanks as well.

I try to take a few informal pictures of the kids around their birthdays, and while Will usually allows me to snap only one or two, Hallie gladly prances around until I put my camera away. (And sometimes long after I put my camera away.) My goal is to capture, especially of Hallie, a collection of photos highlighting each and every one of her uniquely dramatic faces.

I try not to "instruct" her too much - we just relax in the grass, run around at soccer practice, or dance to music in the garden across the street, and I snap away. Every once in a while she asks me to do her hair for these "photo shoots", but usually we just find time on a quiet Sunday afternoon and slip away for a few minutes, which means she looks in the photos...just like she looks in real life. Beautiful.

You're going to rock nine-years-old, kiddo.

It's a Better Place Since You Came Along

Today my sweet baby girl turns nine years old. My baby turns nine years old. She has just one year left in the single digits. Just one year left of elementary school.

I cried when I found out at my 20-week ultrasound that Hallie was a girl. Not tears of joy - though we of course praised the Lord she appeared healthy - but tears of disappointment. My life with two boys felt comfortable and safe, and I assumed walking into that appointment that I would simply add one more boy to the household and remain the Queen of Everything. 😉 Despite the fact that I am (spoiler alert) a girl myself and grew up with only a sister, I could not wrap my head around giving birth to a daughter or how our family would change with the addition of another female. Looking back on that day now, I know my feelings rose up from my deeply rooted aversion to change: a boy felt familiar while a girl felt foreign, and I thought I needed the familiar and couldn't handle the foreign.

I knew on the day of that ultrasound that Hallie Claire would change my life, but I didn't yet know how.

Nine years later, she brings me extraordinary joy. Every single day she makes me smile in response to an animated story or laugh at a funny joke. She surprises me with her generous offers to help around the house and tender care of her brother. She shows me that her intelligence can be seen not just in her test scores and report card grades, but in her creativity and ingenuity. She unknowingly and unintentionally calls on me to live up to my own daily request of her: work hard and be kind.

Nine years later she also brings me tremendous angst. Every single day she compels me to search the depths of my soul for unending patience. She expects me to answer difficult questions and solve life's most complicated problems. She challenges me to communicate more clearly and show more compassion. She reminds me that she is not her brother in any way, shape, or form and that anything I learned about parenting from caring for him won't work with her.  She shows me that I still don't quite understand her...that in many ways she is still foreign to me.

But foreign isn't bad.

Foreign asks us to look at life differently, to appreciate what was always there but hidden from view or misunderstood.

Six years ago I began the tradition (2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017) of sharing a song - one that reminds me of her and encompasses what I hope for her as she grows older - with Hallie on her birthday. I usually know Hallie's songs by the end of the first time I hear them, primarily because they bring tears to my eyes. I heard Better Place for the first time when all of the massive televisions in the electronics department at Target began playing the music video, and by the time Rachel had finished the first refrain I was weeping uncontrollably in the DVD aisle. When I know, I know.

Better Place by Rachel Platten

I'll tell the world, I'll sing a song
It's a better place since you came along
Since you came along
Your touch is sunlight through the trees
Your kisses are the ocean breeze
Everything's alright when you're with me

And I hold my favorite thing
I hold the love that you bring
But it feels like I've opened my eyes again
And the colors are golden and bright again
There's a song in my heart, I feel like I belong
It's a better place since you came along
It's a better place since you came along

I see the whole world in your eyes
It's like I've known you all my life
We just feel so right
So I pour my heart into your hands
It's like you really understand
You love the way I am

And I hold my favorite thing
I hold the happiness you bring
But it feels like I've opened my eyes again
And the colors are golden and bright again
And the sun paints the skies and the wind sings our song
It's a better place since you came along
It's a better place since you came along

Now I'm alright
Now I'm alright
Everything's alright

'Cause it feels like I've opened my eyes again
And the colors are golden and bright again
There's a song in my heart, I feel like I belong
It's a better place since you came along
It's a better place since you came along

Watch this video. It's beautiful.

Sadly, I spent much of the first two-and-a-half years of motherhood in a postpartum depression fog. I emerged around the time Will turned 18 months old, but could not fully return to a state of happiness because by that time I had begun worrying about a recurrence after the birth of a second child.

And then Hallie arrived.

Foreign asks us to look at life differently, to appreciate what was always there but hidden from view or misunderstood. Hallie asked me to look at life differently, to appreciate what was always there but hidden from view or misunderstood. And when I responded to her request, she showed me vibrant color and simple beauty. She woke the song in my heart from its slumber. She touched me and I felt sunlight, she kissed me and I felt the ocean breeze. Back then and still today, everything is alright when she's with me. She made my world a better place, and I believe the rest of the world will someday feel her gifts as well.

Happy 9th birthday, baby girl. Mama loves every single thing about you.

* A huge and heartfelt thank you to Shannon Morton of Shannon Morton Photography here in College Station for these stunning pictures of my dancing girl. 

On the Eve of Nine Years

Today, pictures of my eight-years-and-364-days-old Hallie Girl. 

Tomorrow, my words and the song I chose to describe her at nine-years-old.

High Five for Friday (4.6.18)

One

On Friday afternoon - thanks to a day off from school in recognition of Good Friday - Hallie and her bestie Kara celebrated their birthdays with a joint party at a local trampoline park. Some people have a talent for, passion for, and/or desire to create Pinterest-worthy birthday parties...I am not one of those people. I bake a mean cupcake and love to decorate fun cakes for my kids on their special days, but after that I gravitate toward simple and easy and whatever plan involves the least amount of pre-party stress and post-party mess. This party fit the bill and was all the more fun because Hallie shared it with her birthday buddy.

Two

On Saturday afternoon we hosted our annual Easter egg hunt - such a fun tradition!

Three

On Sunday we hosted...nothing, thank goodness. We needed a lower key day, and had a beautiful one celebrating Easter just our family of four.

Four

On Monday we had another day off from school but our extracurriculars - three dance classes and a soccer practice turned friendly game - went on per usual. I may not have gotten much done during the day, but the kids and I had a nice day together and we discovered that getting everywhere on time and with all bags, equipment, snacks, etc. comes more easily when we haven't spent the previous hours at school/working.

The long weekend led Hallie and I to come up with what we believe is an ideal school/work schedule.

Week 1: school/work Monday through Thursday
Weekend 1: off Friday through Monday
Week 2: school/work Tuesday through Friday
Weekend 2: off Saturday and Sunday

Makes perfect sense, right? Someday she'll run for office on four day/two day weekend rotation platform!

Five

Happiness Highlights:

Every morning before his boy goes to school, Tux
gives him lots of snuggles to get through the day.

It's so sweet.

Hallie received her NCAA Basketball Tournament bracket
winner's "medal" while at her winner's dinner at Olive Garden.

If you can see past the creepy chicken sleep mask and strange
lighting, this is a sweet picture of Hallie falling asleep next to
Will during a severe and somewhat scary thunderstorm. 

Learning to decorate cupcakes like her mama!

And last but not least...THEY'RE BACK!!!

Happy Friday, Chasing Roots!

Linking up with High Five for Friday here:

 

Wise Words Wednesday: It's Almost Always "And"

Must it all be either less or more?

Either plain or grand?

Is it always "or?"

Is it never "and?"

These lyrics come from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Into the Woods. The situation in which they're sung - a baker's wife prancing about the woods and contemplating the meaning of life following a spontaneous romantic interlude with a prince - bears little resemblance to the one in which I find myself - an engineering professor's wife sitting behind her computer screen and contemplating the meaning of life following a weekend of watching a multitude of debates play out in the streets and on social media - but the message works in both cases. Is it always "or?" Is it never "and?"

It is possible to be gay and Christian.

It's also possible to believe in God and science.

It is possible to be pro-choice and anti-abortion.

It is equally possible to be a feminist and love and respect men.

It's possible to have privilege and be discriminated against, to be poor and have a rich life, to not have a job and still have money.

It is possible to believe in sensible gun control legislation and still believe in one's right to defend one's self, family, and property.

It's possible to be anti-war and pro-military.

It is possible to love thy neighbor and despise his actions.

It is possible to advocate Black Lives Matter and still be pro-police.

It is possible to not have an education and be brilliant.

It is possible to be Muslim and also suffer at the hands of terrorists.

It is possible to be a non-American fighting for the American dream.

It is possible to be different and the same.

We are all walking contradictions of what "normal" looks like. Let humanity and love win.

~ Unknown

Many people - myself included - have struggled with some of these assessments, both/either within themselves and/or when they see them occur in others. I am inclined to support the author's claim that we are "walking contradictions of what 'normal' looks like". I imagine she would apply that description to the baker's wife prancing about the woods, the engineering professor's wife sitting behind her computer screen, and nearly everyone in between. I imagine she would embrace - not just tolerate - these contradictions because they allow us to maintain our beliefs while simultaneously looking for common ground on which to build solutions. I imagine she would agree that it is almost never "or" and almost always "and". 

Monthly Medley: March 2018

Writing
I spent much of March in front of my computer, working on a few new projects. Most won't come out until fall or even the holiday season - that's how far in advance magazines prepare for upcoming issues - but I'm excited about all of them and I promise to share as they become available in print and online!

Reading
I finished the The Handmaid's Tale, and as much as it pains me to write this, I didn't like the book AT ALL. I read through to the last page because I plan to watch the Hulu television series at some point in the near future, but at the end of every chapter I considered returning the book to the library. A friend - who also read and disliked the book - assured me the television show is MUCH better...I'm holding out hope!

Hallie and I continue working our way through Wonder. I thought we would have finished it by now, but as it turns out, we both feel the need to stop and talk about August and Via after almost every chapter. I expect the author intended - at least in part - to provoke conversation about kindness, acceptance, and inclusion, so I think we're using the book the right way!

I don't have a new book on my nightstand for April (all those I checked out from the library came due while I was trudging my way through The Handmaid's Tale) - any suggestions?

Watching
Y'all, I can't get enough of The Greatest Showman. I saw the movie again, this time with Will. I can't wait for it to come out on Blu-ray so we can watch our favorite scenes on the biggest of our small screens.

We watched three documentaries in March. First, we enjoyed tremendously the first two episodes of the Netflix Docuseries Rotten. All four of us liked the first episode, Lawyers, Guns, & Honey, but only Tom and I lasted all the way through The Peanut Problem; the peanut allergy topic hit a little too close to home for both Will and Hallie and they opted to read while Tom and I finished up the episode. Consider this series highly recommended!

Second, we watched Ghost of the Mountains, a documentary about the elusive snow leopard...elusive being the operative word. Snow leopards appeared onscreen for less than 20% of the film's 78 minutes. We tried as hard as we could to stay focused, but all four of us eventually lost interest in watching the filmmakers search - usually unsuccessfully - for their subject. This documentary was definitely not Disney's best work - I would give it a C at best.

Listening To
Just as I continue to watch The Greatest Showman movie, we continue to listen to The Greatest Showman soundtrack. I think Hallie and I both subconsciously feel like we have to keep playing the CD on repeat until we know absolutely every word.

I found two new podcasts to listen to this month. First up, For the Love with Jen Hatmaker. "For the love of ... People. Home. Stories. Shoes. Family. Jesus. Community. TV. Accessories. Food." Jen invites listeners to join her and a wide variety of guests as they talk about all of the things she/they/we love(s). I started with Episode 5: Eat Cake & Be Brave: the Funny Formula for Life with Melissa Radke, which was part of the For the Love of Laughter series, and I'm looking forward to pulling up the episodes in which Jen interviews Emily Ley and Glennon Doyle and the episodes that focus on the Turquoise Table movement and holiday gift giving. Second in line, This is Love. Produced by the team that puts out Criminal, a favorite podcast of mine, This is Love is "an investigation into life's most persistent mystery". The first episode talked about spiders and sounded awful, but I gave it a try anyway and found myself almost immediately drawn in to its web. I definitely recommend both podcasts!

Trying/Using
About a month ago we put this piece of furniture - designed to collect both trash and recycling side-by-side - in our kitchen/dining room. While we did fine with trash, we didn't have a great system for getting our recycling from the kitchen to the large recycling bin in the garage and thought this piece might help us streamline this area of our lives. After five or so weeks, the verdict is in...we love it! If you recycle and need a neat and tidy way to collect your recyclables in your house, give Sawdust City LLC's products (they offer a few different styles) a try!

I have no affiliation with Sawdust City. We're just happy customers!

Wearing
I just bought these earrings for $8 - yes, only $8 - from For the Love of Wood here in College Station. They're gorgeous and well-made and light as a feather, which is perfect for me because my earlobes can't handle heavy earrings. Check them out on Facebook (as far as I know, that's the only way to shop) here!

It's hard to tell, but they're a scalloped pale pink.

Again, no affiliation - just a happy customer!

Eating/Drinking
The two new main dish recipes I tried in March received less than favorable reviews, but the two new dessert recipes I tried went over incredibly well!

• I made these White Chocolate Chip, Macadamia Nut, and Cranberry Blondies with Tom in mind, and everyone with whom I shared them eagerly dove into the pan for a second helping. I cut the sugar to about 3/4 c. and skipped the tinfoil in the pan and they still turned out beautifully!
• I tried these Copycat Lofthouse Sugar Cookies on a whim, and I loved them so much I made them again the following week. They don't look exactly like the ones sold in your grocery store's bakery department - Hallie was quick to point out that mine weren't perfectly round - nor do they taste exactly the same...but the good news is that they might actually taste better! I cut the sugar to about 3/4 c. and used nonfat plain yogurt instead of sour cream in the cookies, and I left the frosting recipe as written.

A quick update on two food-related blog series... 

I continue to struggle with my United States of Cookies kitchen challenge. So many of the recipes call for nuts as a primary ingredient, and for Will's safety and my piece of mind, I just can't bake with certain nuts in my kitchen right now. And many of the other recipes - I hate to say this - just don't appeal to me. If I'm baking cookies I want to know we're all going to enjoy them, and with some of these recipes I honestly wonder. I'm hoping to get back to this series down the road, but it's in something of a holding pattern right now.

I haven't written a Restaurant Update post in a while, but we are still working our way through Spoon University's list of 45 Places to eat in College Station Before You Die. The going is slow, but we're committed to this one!

Feeling Good About

• New York City Ballet Special Needs Program: allowing every child to experience the beauty and freedom of dance.
• Roots of Empathy: babies helping elementary school students tackle bullying.
• Humans Reuniting with Dogs: every human being deserves to be loved as much as these adults and children are loved by their dogs.
• Bohannon's Gesture: the ultimate display of sportsmanship.

What's new and interesting in your world this month?

High Five for Friday (3.30.18)

1. On Thursday evening we picked up this little girl's new glasses. I should confess...I cried a little after we left Hallie's eye appointment two weeks ago. After needing corrective lenses for decades, I know all too well the struggles - physical, mental, and emotional - that can accompany wearing glasses and dealing with contact lenses as a child, tween, and teenager. Kids called me names and laughed at me because of my glasses (especially once they were paired with braces), and my glasses and contacts made participating in nearly every activity and sport more difficult. My glasses and contacts were also another expensive possession to take care and keep track of, and when something did happen to either of them, I felt AWFUL going to my parents.

I realize my feelings on Hallie's glasses might sound silly and irrational to some people - after all, she needs them and they will only make up one small piece of the puzzle that is Hallie's life. But Hallie has a couple of challenges in front of her already, and it hurt my mama heart to add glasses to her plate.

Well now, that's quite a high five, isn't it? 😂 I ran completely off track with this one, but I'm going to leave all those feelings up there because they're real and relevant...and because I hope to someday come back to this point and laugh about how I needn't have worried about Hallie and her glasses. 

The high fives here are that I think Hallie's glasses are adorable and she looks beautiful wearing them. Hallie also thinks her glasses are adorable and she looks beautiful wearing them. And perhaps most importantly, Hallie is in love with her glasses case. Is that enough high fives to make up for my rocky start?

2. On Friday night we celebrated this beautiful friend of mine. She is kind, generous, funny, and fun, and she has both the best laugh and the best hair of anyone I know. I'm grateful for her friendship and the opportunity to help her ring in another birthday!

3. On Saturday our family had (what felt like) 35 activities and events on our calendar...and we managed to make it to every single one. We started the day with a roof inspection, thanks to a recent hail storm. Then Will crushed his district-wide UIL Chess Puzzles competition, taking first place in his grade for the second year in a row. He also relearned the "you win some, you lose some" lesson when his soccer team fell 0-3 to an opponent they felt they should have beaten. At her dance studio's Senior Gala & Awards Ceremony, Hallie earned her five-year award, performed two dances, and ate seven brownies. We wrapped up the evening with one birthday party, one lock-in, two hours of work at my McOffice, two rounds of disc golf, and one frozen pizza on the living room couch at 9:45pm.

4. Now that the NCAA Men's Basketball tournament pool has been whittled down to the Final Four, the standings are as follows:

Tom: 36
Erin: 67
Will: 68
Hallie: 69

And since Hallie is the only member of the family with teams still in the tournament, she has officially been declared our winner. Congratulations, Hallie!

5. Happiness Highlights:

They like to be touching. It reminds me of the
Piglet quote, "I just wanted to be sure of you".

Morning kisses for his boy.

Officially sending the kids' names to the sun
on the Parker Solar Probe's memory card.

For the first time, Hallie baked and decorated a batch of cupcakes
completely by herself - oven work included. She may even have
done so without much adult supervision, seeing that I was at
soccer with Will so Tom was in charge on the home front...  

Summer has arrived (not really, of course, but temps climbed into the
upper 80s last weekend so it felt like summer) so I made my favorite
summer dessert for Tom and me on Sunday night. Ah.Maze.Ing.

Happy Friday, Chasing Roots!

Linking up with High Five for Friday here: