Friday, March 30, 2012

A Year Later

Some days it's hard to believe we've already lived in Texas for more than 15 months...

Of course I knew exactly how long we'd been residents of Texas (I have a calendar and know how to use it), but it wasn't until a couple weeks ago - when we started experiencing months, seasons, and events for a second time - that it actually clicked.

One Saturday morning in early February we found ourselves at a local park/playground/disc golf course (our favorite Saturday morning activities include a little something for everyone: in this case, park trails and photographable fresh spring blooms for me, a playground for Will and Hallie, and a disc golf course for Tom). After snapping a few pictures of the kids goofing around on the playground, I looked out from behind my lens just in time to see Hallie shoot off the end of a slide. I was struck by the realization that she'd shot off the end of that same slide for the first time exactly one year before.

February 2011
February 2012
The slide experience, which in the grand scheme of things was hardly an experience at all, magnified for me how much Hallie had grown - how much we'd all grown - in 12 short months. Except for the circumference of Hallie's legs...her legs haven't grown at all.

I've made no secret of the fact that I haven't always dealt very well with change.  And while my coping skills have improved over the years, I still have moments, hours, and even days every now and again when change - like moving more than 1,000 miles away from all of my family members and friends - makes me feel like I've been punched in the gut.

But when I pause to reflect on where we've come from and what we've adapted to throughout the last year, the uncertainty on the road ahead seems considerably less scary and intimidating. Because I know we can handle it.

Sometimes, there are things in our lives that aren't meant to stay.
Sometimes, change may not be what we want.
Sometimes, change is exactly what we need.
And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll ever have to do.

But sometimes, saying hello again is the thing that breaks you down
and makes you more vulnerable than you ever thought possible.
Sometimes, change is too much to bear.
But most of the time, change is the only thing saving your life.
~ the notebook doodles

A smart and special and patient woman gently led me to understand and appreciate that "the bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you fail to make the turn".  It appears Hallie Claire is taking the bend in the slide road just fine, and I'm proud to be following her lead.

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