Yes, That Sound You Hear is Me Screaming

For two years during college I lived in an awesome but scary house. The close-to-campus location, huge front porch, patio-esque flat roof, and reputation as a happenin' party venue (like the residents before us, and the residents before them, we threw LOTS of parties) made the house a perfect place from which to experience college. Well, the non-academic side of college at least. The leaky roof, gaps around the windows and doors, lack of air conditioning, poor heat, and overall instability of the stone structure (at one point one of the walls - an entire two-story wall - just crumbled into the yard) made it somewhat scary as well.

One afternoon I walked through the front door and came face-to-face with a squirrel in the middle of the living room. I screamed, spun around, and ran upstairs and into my roommate Beth's bedroom, slamming her door shut behind me. She'd not known about our guest - who we assumed had come in under the front screen door that didn't quite line up with the door frame - and like me, had no desire to leave the bedroom until the squirrel had been escorted off the premises.

Thankfully we'd each gotten (our first) cell phones that year, and we used them to call everyone we knew, including Tom. He and a few of his friends arrived quickly, and though whatever steps they took involved a lot of man-screaming, eventually they managed to return our house to its previous squirrel-free state. We bought them beer to say thank you.

All the commotion tired us out, so Beth and I turned in a little earlier than usual that evening. (Probably around midnight, which was at the time considered "early".) As I climbed into bed and slid down under the covers, I felt something both soft and scratchy brush against my foot. I screamed even louder than when I first saw the squirrel in the living room and whipped the covers off the mattress. There, at the foot of the bed, was…no, not a real squirrel…a stuffed squirrel that Tom had bought and hidden in my bed.

Tom and I hadn't yet started dating at the time and apparently he thought that hiding stuffed rodents in my bed was the way to my heart. Clearly he didn't know me AT ALL.

And now, 14 years later, it seems my son doesn't know me AT ALL either.

Without me knowing, Will borrowed a fairly large and unbelievably realistic-looking komodo dragon from his friend Kaylee. Will hid this komodo dragon under my pillow, and then he waited, cackling quietly in his room, for the discovery.

After a long day, all I wanted to do was climb into bed and watch episodes of The Secret Life of the American Teenager on my iPad (don't judge). Instead, I came face-to-face with this guy.

Creepy, right?

I screamed, of course.

The toy looked so real that I refused to touch it. Even Tom couldn't believe how life-like it seemed as he carried it to Will's bathroom and hid it in the drawer where Will keeps his toothbrush.

That'll teach him.

Unfortunately, finding a komodo dragon in his toothbrush drawer barely fazed Will; he was so "unscared" (how he later described his reaction) that he didn't even mention the toy the following morning…and as a result, I completely forgot about it.

Until I went to bake cookies for our PTO meeting and found that damn dragon again. I screamed, again. I refused to touch him, again, but since I was home alone and needed to get to the flour, I used my foot to kick him out of the pantry and into the office. Where I covered him with a dishtowel and left him until Kaylee could retrieve him that afternoon.

I told Tom he'd better talk to his son, because if this kind of thing happens again I will evict both of them from the house and force them to live in a tent in the backyard with the very-much-alive Texas critters.

Note: Apparently my friend Mandi - Kaylee's mom - knew that Kaylee had lent the komodo dragon to Will…and forgot to warn me of Will's intentions.

High Five for Friday (9.12.14)

1. Hallie started working on her Christmas cards and birthday thank you notes this week. I didn't have the heart to tell her that Christmas is still almost four months away and that her birthday is a whopping seven months from now.

2. Tonight is date night! Tom and Hallie plan to enjoy rice, beans, and tortilla chips for dinner and ice cream for dessert, watch episodes of My Little Pony on Netflix, and then sleepover in her room. Will and I are headed to the arcade for air hockey, pinball, and "the claw game" and then to the movie theater to see Guardians of the Galaxy. One of these days Tom and I will actually go on a date with each other again...

3. After a number of unsettling interactions with oblivious, inconsiderate, and even condescending strangers during the early part of the week, I sought out a pick-me-up. I've seen and even posted some of these pictures before, but when I need to feel good about the direction in which our world is heading (and my kids aren't around for me to hug them), the compilations do the trick.

Collection #1
Collection #2

4. I'm sorry, but this is just too cute not to share…"just seven kittens reacting in unison to a shiny object".

5. Happiness Highlights

Hallie and her sweet friend Jonny at his birthday party.
(During baseball season these two played together for at least four hours a
week; Hallie misses him now that they don't see each other as frequently.)

I hung cork boards above the "art center" in our playroom, and within
five minutes Hallie had covered both boards with her masterpieces.

My anthem.

I love everything about this photo of my sweet niece
on her way to the first day of three-year-old preschool. 

This girl loves to dance, especially in the rain and when she thinks no one is watching.

Peace. And bunny ears. But mostly peace.

Happy Friday, friends!

Linking up with High Five for Friday!

Wiggly Willie and President Carter

Midway through pulling together pictures for this post I realized that it probably belonged not on Chasing Roots, but on our family blog. I still wanted to share the pictures here though, so I began writing a short disclaimer to precede the body of the post.

That short disclaimer quickly became anything but short…it became Monday's post about the gradual shift in focus here at Chasing Roots. Long-winded is the name of my game.

So here is the original post. It has almost nothing to do with life in Texas and everything to do with my sweet boy and his adorable mini-me.

I've written many times about the relationship my sister, Sara, and I have worked hard to foster between our daughters, neither of whom will ever have a sister of their own and both of whom want and need a sister.

I've never written about the relationship between our sons.

While the gap between Will and Carter's ages will one day seem insignificant, right now those six years represent a lifetime, at least in Will's eyes. Will plays soccer, Carter picks up the ball and wanders off. Will soars higher and higher on the tire swing, Carter walks directly into the path of the swinging tire. Will builds elaborate Lego structures, Carter eats Legos. As much as Sara and I want our boys to grow close, we weren't counting on them making any progress until they were much older.

But as is often the case, we were wrong. (I'm pretty sure that as parents we don't get to be right until our kids reach at least 25 years of age. Then we get to be right all the time.) Our boys showed us that right now is as good a time as any.

Will asked if Sara and I would buy him and Carter a matching outfit. Finding outfits that come in both size seven and size 18 months is no easy task, so when Sara came across these mint green shirts and orange shorts she bought them immediately.

Will and his mini-me (they look related, don't they?) enjoying 
one of the few snacks that neither of them is allergic to.

Sara and I had no idea that Will and Carter owned a second matching outfit. Will could barely contain his excitement when Sara dressed Carter in his Bucky Badger shirt on the same day Will chose to wear his Bucky Badger shirt.

Carter looks less excited.

Will taught attempted to teach Carter how to play soccer, baseball, and disc golf. They stuck close to one another on the playground. Cozied up in Grandpa's recliner, they read books together, and when Carter tired of reading his own board books, Will read him the comics.

Carter didn't find Garfield all that captivating.

One afternoon at the splash pad, Will "got a chill" (the groundwater in Wisconsin is COLD) and I suggested he lie down on the sun-soaked pavement to warm up. Carter found Will's behavior fascinating, and stood next to Will - seemingly trying to figure out how to participate himself - for a long time (by toddler standards). Eventually Carter sat down on the cement, but to save his life he could not figure out how to lie down next to Will; he made a full circle around Will, scooting on his bottom, before he pleaded for help and we lent him a hand. I absolutely love the look on Carter's face when he finally joined Will on the ground...Carter clearly never understood why Will was doing what he was doing, but he knew he wanted to do it too.

Occasionally I need to remind myself that when it comes to my kids developing and strengthening relationships with their cousins who live far from Texas, it's not just about the girls. These four kiddos will need each other someday, and it's our - the parents/aunts/uncles - job to make sure that when that day comes, they'll step up to the plate.

Both literally and figuratively looking 

up to his big cousin. Oh, my heart.

Blurred Lines

The last time I saw my mom she commented that Chasing Roots included fewer posts about adjusting to life in Texas than it once did, and she's absolutely right. When I first started this blog, I called it "A Midwestern Girl in Cowboy Country" and my posts focused almost entirely on how life in Texas differed from life in Wisconsin, Iowa, and Michigan (where I spent nearly all of my first 31 years). I had plenty to write about back then, as I encountered new and different people, places, animals, and weather almost every day.

But as is almost always the case, before long the unfamiliar became…less unfamiliar. (Relatively speaking, of course - regardless of how long we live in Texas I know I won't get used finding a lizard in my laundry basket or running the air conditioner while hanging lights on the Christmas tree.) When I no longer looked twice at the cowboy sauntering through the mall or the "SECEDE" bumper sticker on a Ford F350, and I no longer cringed when the Target employee threw a "yes, ma'am" my way or my kiddos worked "y'all" into a sentence, I knew it was time for my blog to evolve.

Chasing Roots replaced Midwestern Girl two years into our Texas adventure, and while this new website focused less on differences and more on experiences, I still tended toward Texas-specific content.

Click here to read the full story of how Chasing Roots came into existence.

Today, two years after the creation of Chasing Roots, the lines between "life in Texas" and "life with kids" have blurred and as a result, I find myself posting more and more content here that I would have at one point considered more appropriate for our family blog. I can no longer determine where pics of my kids running through the sprinkler in November (an activity available only to those of us living in Texas but pics of which include only my kids) should go.

If you visit Chasing Roots regularly, or even if you only visit Chasing Roots periodically but have popped in with some regularity since the Midwestern Girl days, I imagine you've noticed this shift in content. I hope you like - or at least don't dislike - the change, because I think it's here to stay.

Dare I say (write) it?

In many ways, my family now fits in here in Texas.

And it feels only natural for my family's lives to fit into my Texas blog.

There's a lot more maroon in our closets than ever before...

High Five for Friday (9.5.14)

1. We survived the first two weeks of the new school year! Will has had absolutely no trouble getting out the door on time in the mornings; continues to enjoy computers, math, PE, recess, and hot lunch; seems to gotten the hang of switching classes; and LOVES his teacher. Having never made a single comment - positive or negative - about any teacher, ever, Will came home on the first day of school and, with no prompting whatsoever, declared his teacher "awesome". I can also tell that Will likes having his little sister at "his" school, if for no other reason than it makes him feel important to pick her up at the end of the day.

Hallie's actual days of school have gone relatively smoothly. She shed a few tears here and there, but with gentle encouragement she pulled herself together when she needed to do so. She's "making new friends but keeping the old" (three of her friends attend our elementary school but none are in her class), learning the kindergarten routine, and enjoying - not surprisingly - music, art, and playing in the kitchen during center time. Hallie's mornings, on the other hand… She's not unhappy about going to school, but she's unhappy with me for…well…for simply existing, from what I can tell. All this kicking, screaming, talking back, and timeouts make me want to stick a #2 pencil in my eye.

Will's favorite kindergarten center was the computers, and when he asked Hallie which games she'd played on the computers during center time (she has the same teacher as Will did), she replied, "what computers?" They're mighty different, those two.

2. Will graduated from a green belt to a purple belt in Tae Kwon Do last Friday night. He worked particularly hard for this belt, having to learn quite a few new moves and memorize the second half of the green belt form in five weeks (instead of eight weeks, because of our summer travels), and he nailed it.

3. On October 18th my SIL and her fiancé will say "I do". Tom and I, along with both Will and Hallie, are looking forward to celebrating their love and standing up in their wedding as the Matron of Honor, a groomsman, the ring bearer, and last but certainly not least, the flower girl.

Earlier this week my SIL sent me pictures of Hallie's flower girl dress…and it's STUNNING.

The pink sash will be replaced by this hand-made, crystal- and pearl-encrusted belt, and in her hair (which will be up to show off the bow on the back of the dress) Hallie will wear a crystal tiara.

I never had the privilege of standing up for a family member or friend as a flower girl, but watching Hallie do so for her aunt is turning out to be just as exciting.

4. The Hawkeyes won. The Aggies won. The Wolverines won. The Huskers won. The Packers won. The Lions won. Only my Badgers lost. Not too shabby of a sports weekend for the four Ferri!

5. Happiness Highlights:

I made these for my mantle and can't wait to display
them among my Halloween decorations!

Sometimes, when they think I'm
not looking, they hold hands.

Will won me this beautiful ring at Wings & More.

One more belt in its "forever home".

Happy Friday, friends!

"Texas is So Hot it Pulls Out Your Breath"

While searching our family blog for stories about Will and Hallie's relationship for my first day of school post, I came across this conversation between Will and me. We hadn't yet relocated to Texas, but we had made the decision to move and shared that decision with Will. We'd also shared with Will that Texas would, in many ways, look and feel different than Michigan, and that in all likelihood the first difference he would notice would be the warmer temperatures.

One of us was more than ready for warmer temperatures.

We spent the Christmas before our move playing in the snow and bundled up against freezing temperatures in Illinois, so when we finally climbed out of the car in Texas in January, Will declared the weather "summer-like". He then went on to make one of his first "scientific" discoveries in a roundabout way.

Will: Whew! Texas is so hot that it pulls out your breath. 
Erin: What? Oh, do you mean that the heat in Texas takes your breath away?
Will: Um, I guess. (skips away) 

A few minutes later...

Will: (skips back) So, when do you get it back?
Erin: Get what back?
Will: Your breath!
Erin: Where did your breath go? 
Will: The hot took it away, remember?
Erin: Oh, right. When do you think you get it back?
Will: I think we get it back when we go to Grandma and Grandpa's where it's cold. We get our breath back when it gets cold.

10 minutes later (yep, it took me 10 minutes - the synapses must not have been firing correctly that afternoon) it registered with me that Will had just realized that breath can only be seen in cold weather.

My snow baby.

Will has reached the age at which he no longer makes hysterical, grandiose statements or asks crazy, out-of-the-blue questions like toddlers and preschoolers do. (Click here, here, here, here, and here to read a few of my favorite "Will-isms" from his younger years. Yes, I have a lot of favorites.) It was such a delight to come across one I'd forgotten about, especially one that offered a little insight into what was going through his mind as we prepared for our new life in Texas!

I Had the Best of Intentions

At the beginning of this summer I wrote about how although we had enjoyed certain aspects of our Summer Bucket Lists in years past (2012, 2013), this year we planned to "go it alone", without a fancy-schmancy, Pinterest-inspired guide to summer fun.

Don't get me wrong...I live for lists. Lists of errands I need to run, projects to tackle around the house, and appointments to schedule. Lists of what I've already written about and what I still want to write about. Lists for the PTO and 2nd grade and kindergarten and "professor's wife" responsibilities/commitments. Lists for Target, the grocery store, and the mall. I love the feeling of crossing off tasks I accomplish. But with our Summer Bucket Lists - lists that should have been about having a good time, enjoying each other's company, and learning new things - I couldn't appreciate the checkmarks and colorful stars representing our trips to the zoo, the sandcastles we'd built, the science projects we'd attempted, the books we'd read, the berries we'd picked, and the pies we'd baked because I was so focused on all the kids and I hadn't done yet.

This decision was the right one for us. I needed less schedule and more flexibility in our days, and by skipping the Summer Bucket List I got what I needed.

But I also needed a way to encourage creative and cooperative play (in other words, squelch boredom, or at least squelch complaints about boredom, and fighting), and I attempted to satiate this need with my jar system.

The jar system DID NOT go well.

The "We Were Fighting" jar? In June, Will and Hallie didn't even bicker and we never used the jar. In August, Will and Hallie fought every single minute of every single day and instead of using the jar I climbed under the covers on my bed and prayed for school to start before I lost hold of my sanity.

A perfect example of the change in their behavior over the summer…In June 

they played in the rain together for more than an hour, splashing each other and 

battling with noodles and laughing hysterically (below). In August this same style 

of play lasted all of 45 seconds. Will hit Hallie with a noodle and she cried…then 

Hallie bit Will's noodle and he cried.

The "I'm Bored" jar? Will and Hallie were really, truly bored a grand total of twice this summer.

The "I've Been Good" jar? Will and Hallie were really, truly good a grand total of twice this summer.

Ok, Will and Hallie behaved themselves more than twice. Maybe like four times.

All kidding aside, this system just wasn't right for us. Despite the fact that the jars sat on the kitchen counter, I almost never remembered they existed in the moments I needed them. I didn't like the randomness of choosing a sibling activity out of the "fighting" jar or a job out of the "bored" jar, because the instructions on the cards didn't always fit with the circumstances that brought us to the jars in the first place. I didn't like the specifics of choosing a special activity/outing/treat out of the "good" jar, because again, the reward didn't always work with what we already had planned for the day.

I have always had the best of intentions when creating checklists and chore charts and reward systems for the kids, but I'm just now realizing that with the exception of Will's potty training chart (cleverly titled, if I do say so myself, "Poops and Pees for Chuck E. Cheese"), NONE of them have ever really worked in our house.

I foresee occasional checklists and contracts (I fully intend to implement "earn screen time" to-do lists and social media/cell phone contracts when the time comes) in our future, but from this point on our summers will be list- and jar-free. Except for my Target list, of course…I couldn't survive without that one.