15

Today my firstborn turns 15 years old. It doesn't seem possible.

I thought the transition from 12 and 13 was a big one, and then I thought the transition from 13 and 14 was a big one. But the transition from 14 and 15...this transformation has undoubtedly been Will's most inwardly significant and outwardly noticeable, and I expect this last year to go down as one of the greatest periods of growth in his young life. 

Physical growth, of course. It's no longer questionable whether or not he's taller than me - he is. It's no longer questionable whether or not he's faster and stronger than me - he is. (He's also faster than Tom, but Tom still has him beat on brute strength...though probably only for another couple of months.) But also mental and emotional growth. The process began in March 2020 - related to the pandemic but also related to just existing in the world as a teenage boy - and has continued every day since then.

What a strange year this has been for all of us, but in particular for teenagers. At the point in their lives when they should have been embarking on the long journey toward leaving us, they weren't. And when they should have been spending less and less time at home with their parents, they weren't. Will spent more time at home throughout the last year (at least until the beginning of this school year) than he had in multiple years prior combined; he was with me - and with both Tom and Hallie - all of the time except for athletics workouts, orchestra rehearsals, and club soccer practices/games. It wasn't easy for him, and at times we butted heads about what he should and should not be allowed to do/say/eat/drink/watch/use at home. But he did it, and along the way he made the most of the hand he was dealt and our decision to enroll him as a virtual/hybrid learner for the 2020-2021 school year. It also wasn't easy for him to return to the "real world" at the beginning of the 2021-2022 school year, in part because of how long he'd been away from learning in a classroom and in part because of how frustrated he was - is - with what is happening in our schools. But he is doing it, and thus far he is making the most of what his high school has to offer academically and extracurricularly. I am proud of his strength and resilience.

With the exception of orchestra and soccer, Will is taking all advanced classes, one of which is typically a 10th grade class and one of which is typically an 11th grade class. He works incredibly hard, frequently putting in four or five hours of homework on weeknights and more than 10 hours of homework on the weekends. He still loves playing the cello, can't believe his good fortune that he now gets to play soccer as part of his school day, and joined the Debate Club, where he's learning an entirely new set of skills which I'm sure he hopes will come in handy as he starts to negotiate with us about things like curfews and driving. Outside of school, you can usually find Will on the soccer field - playing with his club team, volunteering with his club's youth academy, or refereeing city league games. He also tries as often as possible to fit in rounds of disc golf - his passion for the sport was ignited this year - as well as chess, video games, and sports of all kinds with his friends at the park.

~

A few weeks ago I found myself having a rough night. Tom was out of town, Hallie was sick and we were waiting on her COVID test results, and I was feeling broken and exhausted and frustrated and sad and SO angry. Because Will was playing video games in the playroom and Hallie was quarantined in my bedroom, the living room felt like a "safe" place for me to give in to my many emotions and so I sat, alone on the couch, weeping quietly into my hands. I didn't hear Will emerge from the playroom (sometimes we have to sneak out of that room so as not to wake sleeping kittens) and when I realized he was approaching, I didn't have time to pull myself together before he noticed I wasn't ok. He sat down on the couch, he put his arm around me, and for the first time in our lives, I cried on his shoulder instead of the other way around.    

There is still little boy left in him - I see it when he celebrates a soccer victory, plays in the backyard with Hallie, laughs about fart jokes with friends, or snuggles with kittens - but there is now so much man swirling around in there as well. I have watched, in some cases from a distance and in other cases from the front row, as he has navigated difficult situations...with teachers and coaches and friends and even girls...with confidence, humility, poise, and kindness, just as I hope he will continue to do as he nears, enters, and makes his way through adulthood. I know now that the term "man child" was meant for 14 and 15-year-olds boys - there is just no better way to describe this beautifully complicated state of being.

Happy 15th birthday, Will. I love you to the moon and back plus infinity time a million with a cherry on top.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

 

Thirteen

Fourteen

~

Today's post will take the place of my usual Tuesday post. See you on Friday!

High Five for Friday (10.1.21)

One

It was so nice to have Tom home these last few days! We missed him, of course, so it was lovely to just spend time catching up with him in person. But I also appreciated having my co-parent, co-driver, co-tutor, and co-homeowner back for things like shuttling kids at 9:30pm and changing the living room lightbulbs that are JUST out of reach for both me and Will. 

Studying for a math test with Dad is way more fun than
studying for a math test with Mom. For both Hallie and Mom.

Tom has a lot more travel ahead of him this year (he's on sabbatical, and the research he's working on is taking place out of state), so we're doing our best to appreciate the time we have with him when he's home. 

Two

In addition to having Tom home, we've had Harry, Ron, and Hermione (temporarily) home too! It's funny how their personalities seem to line up - at least somewhat - with the personalities of the characters after which they're named...Hermione is brave, bold, and confident; Ron is timid and sweet; and Harry is gentle, kind, and somewhat confused about both his "powers" and how to interact with others like him. 

We had to work tremendously hard to the gain the trust and affection of our last two fosters (Aretha and Dumpling, affectionately known as our therapy kitties), and while that work was more than worth our time and effort, it's been delightful to have these three showing us all the love in the world, no questions asked, from the moment they scampered out of their cage on that first day. 

And for those of you who read Tuesday's post, their GI issues are improving - thank goodness!

Three

Having the opportunity to join choir was one of the things Hallie was most excited about when it came to middle school. Thus far she has LOVED the experience, and she was thrilled that she and her choir were able to sing the National Anthem - with other CSISD choirs - at one of our high schools' football games last Friday night. 

It's hard to see her in that sea of middle and high school singers,
but she's on the left toward the front and has a blue bow in her hair. 

Dance mom friends turned choir mom friends!

We didn't stay for the game because as Hallie was singing, Tom was arriving back into town and we wanted to head home to see him. But she's singing the National Anthem again tonight, this time at Will's high school's football game, and we're all going to our first (official, as in we have a child in high school) Friday Night Lights experience together!

Four

Fall has arrived. I realize fall officially arrived last week, but I forgot to include this important high five in last week's blog post. Fall is my absolute favorite, and the ever so slight shift in our temperatures - upper 80s instead of mid 90s - has contributed to an ever so slight shift in attitude and mood.

No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face. 

~ Picture and quote courtesy of the Instagram account @fallwinterparty.

Five

Happiness Highlights

I miss spending time (other than in the car) with Will. Between
school, homework, debate, soccer, and refereeing, he barely has
enough time to sleep. So when he had 30 free minutes last week, I
gladly spent it with him, eating a late dinner and chatting over Psych. 

And then he quickly beat me at chess.

Found this pic of Will - taken for his player card his
first year playing competitive soccer with Texans. 😭

I like that he still needs me.

Halloween pajamas have come out!

We had two marvelous nights that
were cool enough to open the windows! 

One of my newest Starbucks cups! 😍

This is River. She's a whole mood, and I'm 100%
on board with it. Also, she's just as cute as can be.

Happy weekend, friends!

Up All Night

I was going to give myself a pass for today's blog post, but then I decided to instead write a blog post about why I was going to give myself a pass for today's blog post.

~

Last week/end we took the next step in our journey as kitten fosters...we welcomed bottle babies into our home. We hadn't previously cared for kittens so young - just two weeks old - for a few reasons. First, I was nervous about their fragility. Second, I was intimidated by the feeding process, which involves feeding them by hand and with a bottle every three to four hours around the clock. And third, I already "did my time" feeding babies at night and now I like to sleep. (Incidentally, I don't sleep much because I'm a night owl whose children participate in activities - school, dance, soccer, and refereeing - that start early in the morning, and I don't sleep well because I'm an incessant worrier. I do however, like to be and stay in my bed.) But when another foster mama needed to go out of town for the weekend, I said we would give it a try.

Pugsley and Lurch arrived - in their incubator - at 9am on Thursday morning. I had watched a Kitten Lady video about bottle feeding the night before, and then sweet Abby with Six Kittens Rescue showed me what to do...and then we were on our own until Sunday afternoon.

The kittens are the tiny black ball in the center. On the left
and right are their warm and cuddly security stuffed animals.

Because I knew I had to feed the kittens every four hours, I had ahead of time rearranged all four days so I could be home frequently; I moved appointments around, figured out how I could stop at home in between dance rehearsals, and lined up Tom to handle soccer in Houston and a few other drop offs and pick ups that conflicted with my feeding schedule. I stayed up later and got up earlier than usual. And, I stumbled out of bed every night at 3am to warm their bottle, help them go potty, and fill their tiny little bellies.

Bottle feeding newborn kittens isn't as easy as it sounds. (Does it sound easy?) Abby made it look like a piece of cake when she showed me, but it took me a few feedings to feel comfortable and even then I didn't always feel confident. Kittens eat differently from one another, and, as I discovered, sometimes eat differently than they did at the previous meal. The entire process reminded me of trying to myself learn and teach my human babies how to both breast and bottle feed. There was a lot of trial and error, but in the end they were fed...and as is the case with human babies, fed is best.

Those four days and three nights were exhausting and crazy...exhausting because of lack of sleep but crazy because all three of our other foster kittens decided that while we had the bottle babies would be a great time to develop some messy GI issues. But it was worth it. The kids and I learned so much, and we all adored caring for those tiniest of babes. Hallie in particular worked incredibly hard, and I was reminded that without her, we simply couldn't do this. (Tom and Will are great at snuggling, cuddling, sleeping with, and loving our kittens. But Hallie and I do most of the literal and figurative work.)

I don't think we'll become regular bottle baby fosters (like I said, I don't sleep enough as it is and I slept much less than usual between Thursday and Sunday), but now that I know we can handle it, I'm ready and willing to step up/in and help the "team" when someone else needs a hand. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some sleep to catch up on.

Just kidding...I don't nap. I haven't taken a nap unless I was sick since I was three years old. 😂