High Five for Friday (10.16.20)

One

May her legacy be a revolution.

Might be my favorite mask yet. (Thanks, Mom!)

Two

I chopped my hair off! 

I get my hair professionally cut and colored once, maybe twice, a year. In between those cuts, my mom - who I usually see about every three months - trims my hair for me. She trimmed my hair when she was in town for Nutcracker 2019, and I had planned on her trimming it again come March or April, when she would have - during a normal year - visited for Hallie's birthday. Ah, best laid plans, amiright?

I didn't see my mom in March, or during the summer months, and let me tell you - my hair was in BAD shape. I wasn't actually quite ready to venture into a salon, but the alternative was letting Hallie have a go at it and that seemed too risky. 

So now it's done, thank goodness. I feel like I've "cut off" (let go of) some of my 2020 baggage, and that's not a bad feeling.

Also, I despise selfies.

Three

We didn't have school on Monday, so we started off our (too hot for) fall day with a trip to the pumpkin patch. 

Also, outtakes. 😂

Trips to the pumpkin patch here in Texas look a lot different than they did in Michigan, at least in terms of layers of clothing.

Four

While adorably sweet, these two have been a challenge! Both Dorothy and Ruby developed some gastrointestinal issues that resulted in A LOT of poop in A LOT of places that weren't the litter box. First we tried a probiotic, which proved challenging, as it needed to be mixed with and consumed by way of wet food, which Dorothy does NOT like. Then we moved on to a stronger med, which took three of us to administer orally twice daily for five days. Oh, and Dorothy has claws like no kitten I've ever met and isn't shy about using them to climb up our bare legs (or anything else for that matter). 

On one of their first nights, we couldn't find either kitten when it was time to tuck them into bed. We knew they hadn't escaped because none of us had been outside for hours, but after all four of us searched the house top to bottom for 20+ minutes with no luck, we started to panic. Finally, while looking under our bed for the fourth time, I happened to see a tiny bit of movement coming from inside the boxsprings...as it turned out, they had torn a hole (or perhaps enhanced a tiny hole that already existed) in the bottom lining of the boxsprings and climbed inside the mattress. We were so relieved to find them that we didn't even mind taking the entire bed apart to lift up and essentially (gently) slide them down to the bottom of the boxsprings so we could pull them out. 

We had to take the entire bedroom apart, but we got them out!

But...even though Dorothy and Ruby pooped on the carpet SO MANY TIMES, and even though we're covered in kitten scratches, and even though they scared the daylights out of us by hunkering down inside our bed, and even though they took far longer to warm up to us than Lilo, Mahalo, and Scrumpy Scrumperson, we love them dearly. And we feel like we've officially earned our foster family stripes with these two!  

Five

Happiness Highlights

Tom brought me home a treat - this delicious brew
plus a mini chocolate cake - as a "it seems like you
needed this" gift. I did need it.

They're back!

Delicious samples - a surprise, delivered
right to my door - from my favorite coffee guys.

Well, this was fun...

The collage I shared on National Son's Day - I
thought it deserved a little screen time here too.

Sleepover in their matching Nutcracker pajamas!

This is how Tom goes to work.

This is what Hallie made/had made/bought Will
for his birthday. It came a couple of days late which
bummed her out, but she was so proud of it.

When it's not too hot outside, Hallie and I
enjoy our morning beverages together on the porch.
I'm so glad we decided to add/update this space!

Happy weekend, friends!

What's Saving Your Life Right Now?

I've been listening to Jen Hatmaker's For the Love podcast quite a bit recently. (In particular, I enjoyed the "For the Love of the Enneagram" series and adored the special episode she recorded with her daughter, Sydney.) At the end of every episode, Hatmaker asks every guest the same question: what's saving your life right now? 

Hatmaker credits the question to Barbara Brown Taylor, and always explains to guests that their answers can and should be literally anything they want as long as they're honest. Simple or complex. Superficial or deep. Funny or serious. I've heard responses spanning an incredibly broad spectrum and ranging from dogs and gardening to family and God.  

As I understand it, Hatmaker has been asking this question for ages. But it feels particularly poignant right now, when we're nearly three-fourths of the way through this hot mess (I can think of a few better adjectives to use, but I'm going with something clean, clear, and appropriate) of a year. I thought answering the question myself would provide an opportunity to reflect on where we all "are" right now. I also thought it would be interesting to share my answers...perhaps you might see something on this list that could lift your spirits, or at least make you chuckle.

What's saving my life right now:

• Exercise. I have exercised in some way, shape, or form every single day since the pandemic began. It's relevant to note that I exercise almost every day regardless, and have done so for many years (I grant myself exemptions only on long travel days and for severe illness), but during a pandemic it would be easy to give myself a pass...and then another pass...and then another pass, until not exercising became the norm. When I exercise I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally strong, healthy, and confident; when I don't, I don't. 
• On a related note, Mossa Fitness. I love workout classes to supplement my walking, biking, elliptical-ing, rowing, and occasional jogging, but without my gym (to which I still haven't returned) and its group fitness classes, I needed a way to stay on top of my strength and flexibility. Enter Mossa Fitness. Their online membership is only $7.99/month and the class options - Power, Centergy, Groove, and Fight are my favorites - are plentiful and able to be completed at home with minimal equipment.

"Helping" me with my bench press.

• On another related note, my mom. My mom and I walk "together" five or so times a week. She's an early riser by nature so she likes to walk early in the morning, and I have to walk early in the morning before virtual school starts, so the timing works out well for us to call each other when we head out to pound the pavement at 6:30am.
• My friends. I talked about two of them here, but also the friends I've spent in-person time with at socially distanced birthday celebrations; those I've kept in touch with via email, text, and social media; those I've chatted with through car windows or standing six feet apart in the middle of street; and my dance mom friends, who for a while I saw only at drive-by birthday celebrations but now get to chat with every Wednesday evening at our parking lot tailgates.

Sitting around our "campfire" (electric candles).

• Online ordering and curbside pick-up, from Amazon, Kroger, and Target of course, but also from small, local businesses - like my favorite dance store (Attitude) and creative studio (Board and Brush) - that are making every effort to cater to customers' needs during this crazy time.
• Coffee delivery. If you haven't heard me rave about Dos Road Dogs Coffee, you haven't been paying attention. The business, the people, and the coffee are amazing.

My sweet, sweet cold brew.

• Macaroni and cheese. On Wednesday nights we all go in different directions at different times so we don't eat dinner together. So when I'm finally finished with my responsibilities for the evening, I make myself macaroni and cheese and eat it all by myself while watching Friends.
• Friends. The kind on television. At the beginning of the pandemic I read that in times like these, we gravitate toward what feels comfortable and familiar, which means for many of us that we watch reruns of our favorite old television shows. This definitely rings true for me - Friends is my absolute favorite and I'd choose it over a new show 95% of the time, especially now that both Will and Hallie enjoy watching it as well. (Don't worry - I do A LOT of fast forwarding when Hallie joins me.) 
• Yamuna balls. Did anyone else develop all the aches and pains and injuries once they turned 40? No? So it's just me then... I've had hip and hamstring issues for years, and they reared their ugly heads in 2020. My Yamuna balls, while not necessarily solving all of my problems, have helped ease some of the pain and discomfort. (And since they have solved some of my problems in the past, I'm a firm believer in their function.) Click here to learn more about Yamuna if you aren't familiar with the practice, here to check out the balls to which I'm referring, and here to see the foot wakers that after nearly two years of suffering, saved my feet from plantar fasciitis.
• The promise of fall. It's coming, and even more so than in years past, I CAN. NOT. WAIT.

What's saving your life right now?

High Five for Friday (10.9.20)

 

Covering a couple of weeks of high fives today, since last week's Friday post was just about my boy on his birthday. 

One
Thank you to everyone who helped make Will's birthday a special one! He spent time with his family, friends, girlfriend, and soccer team; talked to all of his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on the phone; enjoyed most of his favorite foods; loved his presents; and went to bed happy. Can't ask for much more.

Two

Last week we had the opportunity to watch three sweet friends "take the field" in their respective sports. First, we watched Cullen and Calvin play their first-ever Cavalry soccer game, and then later in the week we watched Kylee's high school color guard and marching band perform their halftime show at their "family, friends, and fans showcase". It is not lost on me how lucky we are to have regained some sense of normalcy here. Don't get me wrong - life doesn't feel normal yet. Will and Hallie still go to school in their bedrooms, we wear masks everywhere we go, and we haven't been inside a restaurant since March. But little kid soccer games and high school marching band performances feel as good as you'd expect after so many months of wondering whether or not life would ever move forward again.

Three

Hallie's dance studio was closed last week (not for anything related to COVID-19 - they built this intercessional break into the fall semester when they planned the dance year), so while she missed dancing with her friends and teaching her little students, this gap in her schedule meant she could attend one of Will's cross country meets! She seems to enjoy cross country more than soccer (I think it's because cross country meets last less than 15 minutes while soccer games last 90 minutes), and she arrived ready to show her support. 

Will had a great race, and was thrilled to have a couple of extra fans in attendance besides Hallie. (Thanks for coming, Mandi and Kaylee!)

Four

October 1st = Halloween decor! Hallie and I had fun pulling out and setting up all of our Halloween decorations.

A couple of weeks ago I asked myself, "what would make you feel happy today?" And I answered myself, "Halloween throw pillows". So now, thanks to Amazon and Target, I have Halloween throw pillows and a smile on my face. 

Five

Last but most certainly not least...look who temporarily joined our family! Their litter - affectionately named the Oz Babies - had a bit of a rough start, and three of the six kittens eventually crossed over the rainbow bridge. Dorothy and Ruby, however, are both healthy, thank goodness. Dorothy (the white one) is rambunctious and adventurous, though she took a couple of days to warm up to and actually approach us on her own. Ruby (the calico one) is the opposite of Dorothy in that she's nervous and timid; she hid from us for the first 24 hours and then came out only to eat for the next 24 hours, and while she still doesn't feel completely comfortable in our presence, she has decided she loves having her tummy rubbed and won't run away as long as we just keep rubbing. 

Happy weekend, friends!

Monthly Medley: September 2020

Writing

The September issue of Texas Living Magazine includes a fun article I wrote about Texas Ferris Wheels. I pitched this idea almost two years ago and wrote the article 14 months ago, so to see it finally appear in print was rewarding and provided me with the closure I needed (articles that haven't run yet make me feel the same way I do when I'm waiting for my kids to finally get home for the evening - just a little unsettled). 

Reading

I started FOUR different books in September and I didn't finish a single one of them. Two were popular, highly-recommended novels, one was a mystery that came across my feed in a "because you liked..." post, and one was a "self help" book I saw advertised on Facebook and purchased from Amazon in a late-night moment of weakness. I made it anywhere from 25 to 100 pages into each, but in every case I just couldn't muster the strength to go on. (I don't plan to publicly share the names of the books, because 1) it doesn't feel right to speak ill of a book I didn't finish, and 2) I may at some point pick these books back up again. If you really want to know the names of the books, feel free to send me an email at erinlferris@yahoo.com and I'll let you know.) I can't say for certain if this situation is the result of my current mental state or just my poor choice in books; I guess I'll see how October goes before I make that call.

Watching

For the last seven months, I have done the majority of my television watching with someone else. Will and I are deeply invested in The Mentalist, Hallie and I love Friends and romantic comedies, and Tom and I laughed our way through both Tiger King and Space Force. But this month I felt the pull to find a show just for me. I considered The Home Edit and Queer Eye (both of which I plan to eventually binge), but decided instead on Sweet Magnolias on Netflix. Based on the novels by the same name, Sweet Magnolias is a girly drama and the kind of show Will, Hallie, and Tom would have no interest in, so it's perfect for me to watch all by myself. I'm only about four episodes in, but so far I enjoy the three protagonists, despise the two main characters the writers want me to despise, and am intrigued with a few of the secondary characters. I don't expect the plot to take any crazy twists or turns, but given 2020's real life twists and turns, I'm ok with losing myself in predicable, comfortable storylines on television right now.

Hallie and I continue to work our way through the romantic comedies of the last three decades. She's gotten SO good at predicting how these movies will end - less than five minutes into The Proposal she called the ending!

Our list needs a little updating - quite a few great movies haven't yet been included (though not everything will make the list, given that Hallie is only 11 years old) - and by next month I'll have all of this "information" in a Google doc so it can be easily shared...or ignored, if romantic comedies aren't your jam. 😉

Red = watched previously

Blue = watched in September

Black = yet to watch

The Wedding Singer

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit

13 Going on 30

A League of Their Own

Miss Congeniality

Legally Blonde

Pitch Perfect

50 First Dates

Now and Then

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Miss Congeniality 2

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

17 Again

The Prince and Me

Pitch Perfect 2

Pitch Perfect 3

Bring It On

Titanic

The Princess Bride

Big Daddy

Mean Girls

A Cinderella Story

Sweet Home Alabama

27 Dresses

Clueless

Click

Life As We Know It

Fever Pitch

Save the Last Dance

The Holiday 

Never Been Kissed

That Thing You Do

The Proposal

Grease (Live)

While You Were Sleeping

Uptown Girls

The Wedding Date

The Wedding Planner

Ever After

The Prince and Me 2

Bewitched

Ice Princess

Life Size

Mamma Mia

Father of the Bride

Father of the Bride 2

Father of the Bride 3(ish)

Runaway Bride

My Best Friend's Wedding

Bend it Like Beckham

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

The Cutting Edge

Listening To

As I skimmed my podcast library, I noticed Serial had added new episodes. Assuming and excited that a fourth season had dropped unexpectedly, I opened up the show and discovered that no, Serial hadn't released a new season. Instead, Serial had shared a five-part series called "Nice White Parents", about the impact white parents have on public school systems. While this series wasn't what I expected to find that day, I knew immediately that I had to listen.

"If you want to understand what's wrong with our public schools, you have to look at what is arguably the most powerful force in shaping them: white parents."

I found the podcast well researched, clearly presented, historically educational, and eye-opening, especially for me...a "nice white parent". I highly recommend it for those who are trying to better educate themselves about the history of race and segregation - and the impact our past has on our present - in our country. 

Following

First a quick recap of a few of my favorite follows I've shared in the past, prior to creating this category:

• Emmanuel Acho (@emmanuelacho) His web series Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man is fantastic, and I can't wait for his book by the same name.
• Laurel Bristow (@kinggutterbaby) My go-to infectious disease researcher for all things COVID, vaccine, and science-related.
• Jessica Vosk (@jessicavosk) This Broadway superstar has the most amazing voice (perhaps the best Elphaba to ever grace the stage), but is also as kind, funny, and endearing as they come. And I love her dog, Fred.  
• Tank's Good News (@tanksgoodnews) This site offers exactly what you'd expect given its handle. I always feel better after checking in here.

Now a couple of new follows for this month:

• Katherine and Jay Wolf (@hopeheals) "Disrupting the myth that joy can only be found in a pain-free life."
• Go Clean Co (@gocleanco) Anyone else like to watch other people clean? This woman and her team provide lots of great tips and tricks (they also created an inexpensive e-book that will teach you how to clean ALL the things) and inspire me to take better care of my house.

Trying/Using

After using a mishmash of hangers for my entire adult life, I decided to splurge (and by  "splurge", I mean purchase the cheapest of the nice(r) options) on new and matching hangers for my closet. The swap forced another closet clean-out, which made the space look even better and more coordinated. I chose these hangers, and then I also bought these clips. 

Wearing

I didn't buy a single new t-shirt this month. I did, however, win a t-shirt from Lacey Ray Designs (she's local to me here in BCS, and does really nice work), so you can decide if that keeps the quarantine t-shirt trend alive or not. 

In other "wearing" news, I pulled my jeans down off their high shelf for that one beautiful fall day, and then wore them a few more times on less miserably hot days. Such a simple but appreciated wardrobe shift...

Eating/Drinking

• These BBQ Salmon Bowls w/ Mango Avocado Salsa were delicious! I omitted the cilantro (three out of four Ferri don't like it) from and used one mango instead of two in the salsa, but otherwise I followed the recipe exactly. I know we'll make this salmon again, and I'll likely make the salsa again too, though next time I might serve the diced mango on the side; I prefer the savory avocado and jalapeño flavors - rather than the sweet mango flavor - to shine.
• If you're looking for SWEET and CHOCOLATE, look no further than these Cosmic Brownies, which Hallie made for us. Will and Hallie ate their dessert "as is", while I had to scrape the frosting off before I ate the brownie - not because the frosting wasn't good (it was), but because I needed a little less sugar in each bite.
• Hallie and I also made these Orange Cooler Cookies, which were, in my opinion, a perfectly lovely treat for a warm, end-of-summer afternoon. (Because starting October 1st, we switch over to fall baking.) My only edit is to note that you don't need two cups of powdered sugar for rolling - one cup will do you just fine. 

Feeling Good About

First, let me say that I'm not feeling good about the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsberg. But in the hours, days, and weeks following her death, I've seen a number of stories and photos that have lifted my spirits.

• These kiddos dressed as RBG.
• These kittens named after RBG.
• RBG's relationship with Antonin Scalia.
• RBG's trainer paying his last respects.

Hope you had a great month, friends!

High Five for 14

When they turn 13, we label them teenagers. But they're new to the gig, so it's easy to fool ourselves into believing they're basically still little kids. 

But when they turn 14, they become solidly teenager. They didn't just leave behind the sweet young age of 12; instead, they're only a year away from sitting in the driver's seat of a car. 

On Sunday my baby turns 14 years old. It doesn't seem possible.

For the most part, what I wrote about Will last year still rings true. He takes a full load of challenging core classes, plays the cello in orchestra, and studies Spanish as his elective. He remains committed to his athletic pursuits, on the soccer field but also on the basketball court and as a cross country and track runner. This year and outside of his academic endeavors and athletic extracurriculars, Will also learned to play piano by ear, dramatically improved his disc golf skills, and completed the training to become a certified soccer referee. 

Personality-wise, Will remains a confident leader, a hard-working perfectionist, and a true competitor. He is independent and responsible, and strives to make his teachers, coaches, and parents proud. He is kind, friendly, and funny. He has a soft spot for children and kittens. He loves big, and isn't afraid to show his emotions. On the flip side, Will is still unnecessarily hard on himself, takes games and arguments too far, and despite valiant efforts by his parents, could stand to work on completing household chores, listening to instructions, and personal hygiene. 

But so much has changed since Will turned 13 one short year ago. The world, our country, our state, and even our little community have changed dramatically, and along with nearly everything around him, Will too has changed dramatically. In lighthearted and expected ways, of course: we joke (except it's true) that Will went into quarantine a boy and came out a man, having grown multiple inches and with a changed voice, an Adam's apple, and his first girlfriend. But in deeper, unanticipated ways as well. 

From the moment they leave our bodies after growing close to our hearts for nine months, our children are preparing - and we are helping prepare them - to leave us. But when they reach 13 or 14 years old, "the great divide" truly begins. They spend from sunrise until long after sunset at school, sports practices, music rehearsals, and extracurricular meetings and activities. What remains of their waking hours is spent with friends. We see them less and less, and while we wish this weren't the case, we understand that the situation in which we find ourselves - missing our little kids but proud of the independence and responsibility we see developing in these big kids - is completely normal and indicates we're performing at at least a C+ as parents.

But then came 2020...

When the pandemic took over our lives, all of that freedom these young teenagers - Will included - had begun to experience disappeared, seemingly overnight. And it was hard. With all four of us under one roof all day, every day, we had to reevaluate and work through work and school schedules, household responsibilities, and general expectations for interactions and conduct for everyone, but especially for Will, who had grown accustomed to "normal" teenage life.

As the spring and summer dragged on, we chose to be open and honest (though not overly graphic) with Will about COVID-19 as a health emergency; how our country's leadership handled the pandemic; the importance of strong national, state, and local community health programs; the importance of strong national, state, and local education systems; the Black Lives Matter Movement; and more, because we wanted him to understand why life looked the way it did at any given moment. 

So as I mentioned above, 2020 changed Will. He acquired a hefty amount of information, grew up in his beliefs, learned how to ask more valuable and productive questions, honed his ability to search for answers, and became more compassionate toward populations that are underrepresented, disadvantaged, and discriminated against. Don't get me wrong - he's still a 14-year-old boy who thinks that fart jokes are hilarious. But he's changed...grown up...a lot this year.

The most shiny, shimmering, splendid silver lining of 2020 is that at a time when I would have been seeing less and less of my boy, suddenly he was back. We went for walks, runs, and bike rides together. (Well, he ran while I rode my bike. Turns out that this arrangement works quite well for how fast he runs and how slow I bike.) We filmed more than 1,000 attempts at Dude Perfect-esque soccer videos in the backyard. (Yep, more than 1,000.) I taught him how to do laundry and how to cook. (Sort of. I tried.) We watched most of the Mission Impossible movies and all seven seasons of The Mentalist. We played gin rummy and went out for ice cream and shaved his hair into a mohawk multiple times. We argued and yelled and cried a little, but we talked and laughed a lot.

So on this, Will's 14th birthday, I feel like I received the best present of all - the gift of time with my teenager. 

 

Happy 14th birthday, Will. I love you to the moon and back plus infinity times a million with a cherry on top.
 

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

 

Thirteen