Monthly Medley: August 2019

Writing
As I mentioned in last month's medley, I didn't have any writing goals for August. I wanted to spend all of my free time with the kids before they headed back to school, and that I did. I cranked out a short, quick article and a couple of pitches last week, but that was about it. Now that September has begun, I plan to brainstorm pitches, draft and submit a few of these pitches, plan out the next couple of months on Chasing Roots, and research new opportunities.

Reading
Rather than finish one book in August, I started - and made it about halfway through - three books. Two of these books are fiction novels that I don't feel qualified to review until I've read through to the final page, but the other book is a collection of nonfiction short stories that I can confidently recommend despite not yet finishing every last word. Women Heroes of World War II: The Pacific Theater by Kathryn J. Atwood includes 15 stories of "resistance, rescue, sabotage, and survival", each of which is more captivating that the last.

In the world of youth fiction, Hallie has fallen for the original Babysitter's Club books. They're almost impossible to get (at least in order) from the library, so I have been purchasing them a couple at a time from Amazon; doing so is a pricey way to build her Babysitter's Club library, but she likes them enough that I don't mind the extra cost. If you ever want to borrow these "classics" for a young reader in your life, let me know!

Watching
I had high hopes of seeing Toy Story 4, Yesterday, and Dora and the Lost City of Gold in the theater before the kids headed back to school, but in the end, just Will and I made it to Spiderman: Far From Home. We both really enjoyed the movie though, me much more so than I expected.

We didn't watch much on the small screen this month (though next month will be a different story - I can't wait for all of the season and series premieres that air in September), but I did introduce Hallie to Miss Congeniality, which she loved. She and I - and every single one of her friends - also enjoyed Descendants 3 on the Disney Channel.

Listening To
I just finished Season two of Breakdown, the podcast I first mentioned last month. While the podcast deals with dark topics and difficult outcomes - it is appropriately called Breakdown, as it addresses often frustrating breakdowns in our courts - I like learning about how our justice system works, outside of watching Law & Order episodes.

For those of you wondering about the weight of the podcasts I usually recommend, know that I balance all of my true crime listening with lighter podcasts like Young House Love Has a Podcast and This is Love, both of which I highly recommend!

Wearing
I know summer has nearly come to an end for most of the country (LUCKY) so this post might be a day late and a dollar short, but I discovered a tankini top from Athleta that I absolutely love. The style is flattering, the pattern is pretty, and the suit itself keeps everything tucked in and where it's supposed to stay, which makes it a great option for actually playing in the water with your kids. It's called a high neck tankini, and while the "midnight palm" pattern I chose is nearly sold out, Athleta still has quite a few sizes in a variety of solid colors. (And I expect they'll go on sale within a few weeks.)

Trying/Using
We gave Will a basic smart phone - locked down as best we could while still granting access to calling and texting - when he started fifth grade. He walked almost a mile to and from school, so I wanted him to be able to contact me if he had problems on the walk (which happened, more than once), as well as when he arrived at school. Throughout both fifth and sixth grade, Will used the phone to communicate with us, take photos, listen to music, and occasionally watch YouTube chess and soccer videos, and handled the responsibility of a phone as well as I would have expected: for the most part he took good care of it and used it for what we had approved, but every once in a while he broke our rules by taking it into his room or watching videos when we weren't home to approve them.

Hallie started fifth grade this year, and is also walking to school. She didn't want a phone at all, so I started looking into other options for her...and nothing I found checked all of the boxes on my list. I did (well, my mom did), however, eventually find what I think is the best phone out there for kids: the jitterbug flip. The phone is actually designed for the older generation, with simplicity, ease of use, and safety in mind. It has big buttons, a bright screen, and a strong speaker, both on regular mode and speaker mode. It has a navigate-able menu (neither kid needed a tutorial), camera, phone book, preprogrammed library of commonly-used texts, and a few "brain games". It also comes with a 5Star urgent response button/feature, which allows users to immediately connect with a trained agent who can confirm location with GPS, evaluate the situation, and send help immediately. Perhaps most importantly, it does not have access to the internet - the kids can call and text us and THAT'S IT.

Hallie now loves her phone, and Will likes his just fine. That's right, we took away Will's smart phone and replaced it with a jitterbug flip, and all of our lives are better for it. Will wishes that texting complex messages went a little more quickly, but other than that, NO COMPLAINTS. He can get in touch with me and I can get in touch with him, and he cannot use this device to access the internet or social media. It's a win-win...win-win-win. Will knows we will reevaluate phone type, phone use, social media, etc. every summer, but for the time being we're sticking with the current plan because it works for us.

I wish we would have started with the jitterbug flip for Will, but we didn't know about it back then. But now that we do know about it, and I HIGHLY recommend the jitterbug flip if you're looking for a way to keep in touch with your kiddos but would like to steer clear of smart phones and social media for a little while longer. This is a great way to keep the little in our little boys and girls. (Let me know if you have any questions, friends!)

On a completely different note, I bought new rugs to put in front of our front, back, and garage doors. I tried at least five different rugs before I found a style and color I liked and that worked in our house, so I was particularly pleased that these, in addition to coordinating with our home decor and laying flat enough for our doors to swing over them, are holding up so well. And they're reasonably priced!

Eating/Drinking
I would like to once again cook dinner and bake breads, muffins, cakes, cupcakes, and brownies, but IT'S SO HOT outside that I have a hard time justifying turning on my oven. (Speaking of, we replaced both our microwave and oven this month, and I can't wait to learn how to cook with convection heat.) I do have two recipes to share, however, and one cooks in the crockpot, making it perfect for this time of year.

• This Slow Cooker Burrito Bowl went over well with the entire family, including picky pickerson. I used pre-cooked rice (the kind in the bag, that just takes 90 seconds to soften), so I used half as much liquid as the recipe called for and added the rice to the crockpot about 15 minutes before serving. I also left the chicken in the crockpot the entire time, just shredding it with two forks while stirring all of the other ingredients.
• This Sheet Pan Pecan-Crusted Salmon with Brussels Sprouts was devoured. Hallie stood innocently next to the pan after it came out of the oven and snitched Brussels sprouts and pecans until I finally banished her from the kitchen. I don't think I made any adaptations to this recipe, and based on how much everyone loved every aspect of it, I wouldn't change a thing the next time around!

Feeling Good About

• In honor of the start of football season, a shout out to this kind-hearted football fan, who made Super Bowl Sunday a day to remember for many fans who had fallen on hard times.
• Canadian soon-to-be services dogs had to attend a musical as part of their training. This photo of them sitting in the audience at a production of the musical Billy Elliot is fabulous.
• 25 of the most beautiful places in the world. Enough said.
• Last but not least, if you live in, are from, or have ever visited the Midwest, this video is for you. It's funny because it's true, and I can't watch it without laughing out loud.

What's new and interesting in your world this month?

High Five for Friday (8.30.19)

One
Well, we didn't win anything at our orthodontist's annual Splash Bash pool party (they give away thousands of dollars worth of incredible prizes and gift cards), but we had a great time swimming after dark. Last summer the pool offered weekly evening family swims, and we took advantage of quite a few. This summer, however, the pool did away with this particular special event, so last Friday night was the first time we swam under the lights, an absolute favorite summer activity for both kids.

Two
The following night was the last time we swam under the lights for the summer, but we had great fun celebrating our friends Kaylee and Lexi at their combined 12th birthday party.

Three
On Monday night I attended the beginning-of-the-school-year Open House at Will's middle school, and I didn't get lost a single time! More importantly, I met all of Will's teachers and feel even better about the "big kid" school I send him off to every morning.

Four
Tom and I upgraded our phones this week, and while I only transitioned from the iPhone 6 to the iPhone 7 (I prefer to stay at least a few years behind the times 😂), I am truly excited about my new and improved camera. Stay tuned for better - though just slightly better, as the photographer's skills haven't improved - pictures!

Five
Happiness Highlights

Celebrating their Nutcracker roles. 

Borrowing my blue-light glasses and using my computer to work on
his history assignment. He looks so much like me at 12 years old...if
I'd had cuter glasses and a much shorter haircut. 

Sweet friends kicking off their first week of the dance year.

Just a little something Hallie drew on a paper lunch bag...

Tux proved how just how patient he can be when the little
girls dressed him up in his Battle Mouse hat and made him
pretend to nurse all of the stuffed baby kittens.

Those of you who know about Tom's bed candy - and the infamous
cake and strawberry ice cream incident - can appreciate how happy
I was when he didn't spill his bed strawberry shortcake. 😂

This kid carries three backpacks, a binder, breakfast, and
a water bottle to school - at 6:35am - every day. (He also
changes his clothes four times - well, three changes between four
outfits - during the school day.) I would complain. He doesn't. 😍

Happy weekend, friends!

New Year, New Me

In years past I have written about how I dislike making resolutions on the first day of a new calendar year. Other than how I (fail miserably at trying to correctly) write the date on an occasional check, little changes on January 1st. We return home after celebrating the holidays with family and pick up exactly where we left off the previous year: same grades in school for the kids, same work schedules for Tom and me, same evening activities for all four of us.

In September, however, life changes dramatically. The kids begin new grades with new teachers (not to mention new schools this year), join new extracurricular activities, and make new friends. Tom goes back to teaching after spending the summer working outside the classroom. I restructure my days to prioritize work - of the paid, volunteer, and household varieties - while the kids are at school and homework, extracurricular activities, soccer practices, dance lessons, and dinner during the evening hours.

To me, it makes more sense to start the New Year in September, when change comes naturally and causes me considerably less stress. It then follows that I should also implement my New Year’s Resolutions in September.

I gave this plan a try four years ago, and while I did better at keeping my resolutions than I did when I kicked them off in January, I still struggled as the months wore on. As many of you have likely experienced, the more time passes since making the resolutions, the harder it becomes to remember what they were and follow through on them.

So two years ago, I kicked off my resolutions in September and made one additional change that helped me stay on track and ultimately achieve a higher level of success: I replaced the word "year" with the word "month". That's right - I didn't set yearly resolutions, I set monthly resolutions.

With only 30 days devoted to each resolution, my goals were small, measureable, and empowering. Smaller goals are more attainable, which increases the chance of success. Measureable goals are more manageable, which once again increases the chance of success. And empowering goals are more inspirational, which…you guessed it…increases the chance of success.

I admit to bombing a handful of my monthly resolutions, but I also crushed a few and managed reasonably through the rest. All in all, I did well enough and liked this approach enough to structure my resolutions in this way for the third year in a row.

And so, with our further ado, let's get this year off to a great start!

Toward the end of the summer I recognized that I was spending too much time on my phone. My bad habit developed in part because my kids are getting older and spending more time on their own; when they're not with me (and especially when they're home alone or Will is at the park with his friends) I want and need to keep my phone nearby in case they text or call. However, when my phone is nearby, I pick it up, check my email, and scroll through social media far more often. I have also gotten into the (equally bad) habit of perusing my phone while watching television. I allow myself to have my computer open and the television on at the same time because I like background noise while I work, but there is not need for me to watch my phone and the television simultaneously. If the program or movie isn't interesting enough for me to watch it without phone "enhancement", it's not interesting enough for me to watch at all.

To be clear, I am not abandoning social media all together. I need it for work and my volunteer positions, and I like that it helps me stay on top of academic and extracurricular events, activities, rehearsals, practices, games, and performances. I also really enjoy seeing pictures of my friends' kiddos and watching cute kitten and puppy videos... I am, however, planning to pop on fewer times a day - probably once in the morning after the kids leave, once around lunch time when I'm taking a break from work, and then once again in the evening before I climb into bed and start reading. In between those brief visits I will (try to) only pick up my phone to respond to texts and answer calls.

Wish me luck!

What's on your resolutions list this month/year? Whatever lies ahead of you, good luck!

High Five for Friday (8.23.19)

I cringe when I think about the possibility of readers believing our lives don't include the bad and the ugly along with the good, so in the name of transparency, I am kicking off today's post with a confession: this week could have gone better. A LOT better. But weeks like this one are exactly the reason I started writing High Five for Friday posts in the first place; for me there is no better way to wade through the mess than to focus on the small moments of beauty and peace. So here are my high fives for the week; we fought hard for them, which makes them all the more valuable.

One
The first full week of seventh and fifth grade wraps today! Both kids like (Will) or love (Hallie) their classes and teachers, but Hallie accumulated quite a few emotional bumps and bruises while adjusting to her new grade, her new school, and the absence of one of her best friends, who moved away over the summer. I can only hope she will emerge from this acclimation period a stronger little girl.

We have a couple of evening swim parties on our calendar, but beyond those two gatherings the weekend ahead of us looks relatively low-key...and for that I'm grateful.

Two
Nutcracker auditions took place last Saturday, and after a L...O...N...G week of waiting, on Thursday we found out that Hallie will be dancing in the Nutcracker as a Polichinelle. (Polichinelles were previously bakers in our production.) She is beyond thrilled - and relieved, to be honest - to have been cast in the production, to have been given the part she so desperately wanted, and to have the opportunity to finally dance with her besties once again. The last three years of Nutcracker casting haven't gone as well as Hallie would have liked, so this news was a wonderfully welcome surprise.

Besties in their baker costumes. (These aren't official Nutcracker attire,
but a set of beautiful replica costumes that my mom made for them.)

Kara and Hallie performing the Baker Dance in their 4th grade Variety
Show. (Avery goes to a different school, so she didn't perform with them.)

Three
On Saturday night we celebrated a wonderful friend's birthday by paying tribute to her favorite decade. Side ponytails, scrunchies, and t-shirts supporting Jesse and the Rippers were my jam back in the 1980s, so I pulled all three out - along with my hot pink patent leather high heels - for Rebecca's party. Long live the 1980s, and happy birthday, Rebecca!

Four
Will has been looking forward to school sports for years, and earlier this week he finally joined his first school athletic team. He plans to run cross country this fall (hello, 6:45am runs) and is considering basketball in the winter or track in the spring as his second sport. (At Will's middle school, participating in Athletics - which replaces PE - requires kids to try out for at least two sports and play at least one sport.) I'm a little worried about balancing middle school cross country with club soccer, but I'm looking forward to learning more about the sport and cheering Will on at his cross country meets!

Five
Happiness Highlights

Tux ALWAYS sits in my desk chair, even though he isn't
allowed to do so. I was thrilled to come home and find him
on the actual desk...was it possible he finally understood
how much I want him to "GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!"?!

Possible, but not probable. Either that or he just doesn't
care at all about my rules. We couldn't help but laugh.

All my babies. Tux misses his kiddos but is enjoying the
peace and quiet now that they've gone back to school.

The kids insisted on a first day of school photo for Tux.

After an insanely hot and exhausting weekend - FOUR games in 100+
degree weather - Will's soccer team officially started their season with
a 2nd place finish in the Houston Youth Cup.

Happy weekend, friends!

Picky Is as Picky Does

A few weeks ago I came across this graphic:

I decided to give everyone in our family the picky eater "test". I had a pretty good idea how this would go down, but I knew seeing the results in black and white would be fun.

A lower number of points translates to adventurous eating, while a higher number of points translates to picky eating. Here's how the four Ferri scored!

Tom = 1
beets

Erin = 7
liver, tofu, beets, raw fish, oysters, shrimp, and snails

Will = 3
milk, yogurt, peanut butter
(Will wanted it noted that his allergies affect his score. He drinks almond milk and eats almond yogurt, but took points for milk and yogurt because we assumed the list referred to the cow's milk versions. He eats 12 peanuts a day and HATES them - if he weren't required to consume them to maintain his peanut desensitization, he would avoid all peanut products forever.)

And last but not least...

Hallie = 28
cucumber, white chocolate, liver, mushrooms, pickles, egg plant, watermelon, grapefruit, milk, yogurt, beets, olives, mustard, mayonnaise, ranch, vinegar, soy sauce, blue cheese, raw fish, cooked fish, oysters, snails, crab, shrimp, coffee, peanut butter, nutella, tofu

Yep, that's about what we expected.

Hallie's bestie Avery was over when I read her the list, and Avery wanted me to document her score as well. Looks like Hallie isn't the only picky 10-year-old out there...

Avery = 22
tomatoes, zucchini, cauliflower, coconut, white chocolate, liver, mushrooms, egg plant, raisins, beets, ketchup, mustard, vinegar, blue cheese, raw fish, cooked fish, oysters, snail, crab, shrimp, pork, tofu

High Five for Friday (8.16.19)

One
At the end of last week I wrapped up my final Rock Prairie Elementary PTO Board responsibility. After seven years as a Rock Prairie parent and PTO member and five years as a PTO Board member, the door to this phase of my life has officially closed. I can't help but feel sad about reaching this point, but I'm also excited about what I plan to take on next in a volunteer capacity: I am stepping into a new committee chair position at Hallie's (what was Will's) intermediate school, I am looking forward to finding the right opportunities at Will's middle school, and I have agreed to become "right-hand lady" to my friend, Mandi, who serves on the Ballet Brazos Board. Lots of adventures ahead!

Two
As of Will's allergist appointment a few days ago, we have officially been in "maintenance" mode for Will's peanut allergy for a full year. We don't have the results of Will's blood test back yet, but the results of his skin test were promising. This test's flare (the raised, red, itchy area surrounding the prick) was measured at approximately half the size of his last test's flare, indicating that the allergy itself has decreased significantly. This is the result of having done the "work" (and I don't use the word "work" accidentally - this process is physically challenging for Will and emotionally and mentally challenging for both of us) throughout the last year, and our allergist was proud of us. We left with a smile on his face, and a renewed commitment to continuing the process for another year.

Three
A couple of weeks ago our microwave died. Tom attempted to repair it, but the problem turned out to be more complicated than we had originally thought and we decided to replace the appliance rather than spend more time and money on possible fixes. When we bought a new refrigerator last summer, I took pictures of the matching microwave and range, just in case. These photos came in handy, because when we visited Best Buy I already knew exactly which microwave (and range, which we also decided to replace) I wanted. Tom made the purchase while I was running errands with the kids, and when signing on the bottom line he opted not to spend an extra $150 on set up. It took an entire Saturday afternoon, but he did and both appliances look fantastic!

When she saw the new microwave and range, Hallie declared, "they look amazing! But not with our cabinets. We need different cabinets." Everyone's a critic...

I have been planning to paint our cabinets for the last five or so years, but hiring it done - which I'd like to do, so the work is completed as professionally as possible - costs a great deal. If what Hallie says is true, I should start saving a little more aggressively. 

Four
After a couple of false starts and quite a few (figurative and literal) bumps and bruises, we managed to get both kids off to school - with correct schedules, necessary supplies, completed medical paperwork, and mandatory meds - yesterday morning. The turnaround between the first day of school yesterday and the blog post today was too short for me to include pictures, but I'll share a few next week.

Five
Happiness Highlights

Rockin' their new Ballet Brazos jackets.

Nutcracker season, here we come! 😬

Every little boy loves to photo bomb his big sister and her friends! 

Will and I had a good laugh watching Tux destroy Will's Student
Council packet. Will didn't really want to participate in Student
Council anyway, so he took this as a sign it wasn't meant to be. 

My sister and BIL at a wedding in
Mexico - don't they clean up nicely?

My sister and my "other sister". 😍

105 degrees = yet another trip to the ice cream shop! (We always go on
the first day the temperature hits 90, 100, and 105. I suppose we'd also go
on the first day the temperature hits 110, but I'm hoping that never happens.)

Last park playdate of summer vacation.

Last sleepover of summer vacation.

Last swim of summer vacation.

Schedule pick-up - ready or not, here we come! (I LOVE that
they walked into the gym to pick up their schedules holding hands. 

Happy weekend, friends!

I'm Not Ready

The kids go back to school on Thursday, and for the first time since Will started preschool nearly 11 years ago, I'm not ready.

I'm looking forward to using my brand new planner, once again following a regular schedule, and finally knowing the day of the week again. I need time during the day to write and to stay get back on top of the errands, grocery shopping, meal planning and preparation, laundry, house cleaning, and general home upkeep. And I'm excited for both kids' new schools, Will's first year of school sports, and the beginning of new soccer and dance seasons. But I don't feel ready to close the door on another summer and open the door to a new school year.

In years past, come the beginning of August I was DONE with summer vacation. I could no longer take the bickering and complaining, coordinate daily outings and educational activities, or make 174 meals a day. But this summer - with an almost-13-year-old and a 10-year-old - looked and felt different. They bickered and complained, but less. I coordinated outings and educational activities, but they helped plan and prepare, and needed less support and supervision once the outings and activities were underway. They both know their way around the kitchen, so they made all of their breakfasts, some of their lunches, and a few of their dinners.

The bottom line is that they needed me a little less - or perhaps better put, they needed me in different ways (the mental and emotional loads that accompany the tweenage years are heavy). Because of this, I had a little more left in my tank at the end of each day and have a little more left in my tank now, at the end of the summer.

The bonus bottom line - the bottom line beneath the bottom line I mentioned above - is that after this summer comes to an end on Wednesday night, I have only five more summers with Will before he graduates from high school. Five is a shockingly small number when counting down.

Growing up and growing old are privileges denied to many, and I am overwhelmingly grateful for Will's nearly 13 and Hallie's 10 years on this earth as well as the gift of loving them for every single second of those years. But there are so few summers left...and I hate that this one is nearly over.

~

This brings me to what I'm about to share: an edited and abbreviated version of a post that has appeared here multiple times before, always around this time of year.

~

During Will and Hallie's baby and toddler years, I found the commonly uttered phrase "enjoy every moment" both frustrating and disheartening.

You've been there, right?

It's 10am. You've been awake for five hours, and in that time you've fed your children three times, been thrown up on three times, cleaned smashed banana out of the cat's fur, changed four diapers, wiped pee up off the playroom floor, rescued a Power Ranger action figure from the toilet, unclogged the toilet, and mopped up the flooded bathroom. You haven't eaten, showered, gotten dressed, or even brushed your teeth.

How many of those moments did you enjoy?

Telling parents - especially new parents, whose days feel like weeks and whose nights require superhuman strength to endure - to "enjoy every moment" often comes across, no matter how well-intentioned, as cruel. These new moms and dads love their babies tremendously, but they simply aren't enjoying every moment.

And telling new parents that kids grow up so fast and time goes by so quickly? Well, those lines sound like great big lies, because in their world, the kids aren't growing up so fast and time isn't going by so quickly. If they're anything like me when I had an infant at home, new parents are wondering how it's possible their (according to the calendar) five-month-old won't head off to kindergarten in the fall because it feels like they've been caring for that baby for five years.

On Thursday Will starts seventh grade. SEVENTH GRADE. And Hallie - my BABY - starts fifth grade. FIFTH GRADE.

Holy smokes...they DO grow up so fast. Time DOES go by so quickly.

This is all quite difficult to wrap my head around, considering it seems like just yesterday I quietly stewed - and then later cried in my car - when a woman at the farmers market tousled six-month-old Will's curls and exclaimed, "what a big boy! Enjoy every moment with him!"

Where am I going with this? To be honest, I didn't know the first time I shared this post and I still don't know now, years later.

What I do know is that telling parents - of children of any age - to enjoy every moment often makes them feel worse rather than better. I know that telling new parents that kids grow up so fast or time goes by so quickly often comes off as a cliche or even a lie. And I know that while the minutes feel like hours, the hours like days, and the days like weeks when those babies are teeny tiny, at some point the clock speeds up and you can NEVER slow it back down.

Don't worry about enjoying every moment. But try to enjoy most of them, because kids DO grow up so fast and time DOES go by so quickly, whether you're ready or not.

First Days of Kindergarten