Monthly Medley: September 2017

Writing
If you have a subscription to Texas Living Magazine, check out part one of my "Football Town Foods" article in the September issue and then stay tuned for part two in the October issue!

I also have a few blogs posts coming soon to the Mama Bear Dares blog, including one inspired by the recent devastation caused by Hurricane Harvey about preparing your family for emergencies. No one ever says, "I wish I'd been LESS prepared"; I hope that when shared, this post will help families become more informed about as well as more prepared for the disasters most likely to affect them.

Reading
Earlier in the month I finished Maybe in Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid. The book essentially tells two stories, both starting at the point the main character makes a simple yet critical life decision but then each branching off in a different direction. The chapters alternate between the two stories, which I found tricky at first but eventually became accustomed to as I worked my way through the book. Though I wouldn't call Maybe in Another Life a deep read, it had enough emotional depth to balance out the whimsically hypothetical premise of the book.

Watching
Oh, how I love season premiere week! So many new shows, so little time. (That edited version of the cliche is true - there are so many new shows I want to watch and so few hours available for me to watch television.) I haven't yet decided which new programs deserve to take up valuable space in my DVR - I plan to weigh in on these shows at the end of October - but so far I have enjoyed The Good Doctor and The Brave.

As of right now, we have no meetings, lessons, or practices scheduled on Tuesday afternoons. After the kids come home from school they finish their homework and Will practices his cello while I work - at a leisurely pace - on dinner. We eat earlier than usual and then we retire to the living or family room for a new tradition: family documentary movie night.

We started with Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things. The film lasted almost an hour and a half, and while I suspected the kids might start to check out when forced to watch 90 minutes of a film about "stuff", they surprised me by staying connected until the end. (Tom may have dozed off a time or two though.) I have never considered myself a minimalist, but I can't stand clutter and strongly believe in donating or selling clothes, shoes, toys, and household items no longer in use. After watching this film I am even more committed to controlling what I purchase, what I bring into and send out of our home, and the triangular relationship between myself, my belongings, and my happiness. Everyone - kids included - should watch this film.

Next up: Living On One Dollar.

Listening To
I just found out that season three of Serial won't hit the airwaves until 2018, so to tide me over, I decided to look into a few Serial-esque podcasts. So far my list includes Generation Why, Missing, and Thinking Sideways, which while all fairly dark and mysterious, will likely keep me engaged (er, distracted) when I can't make my regular fitness classes and have to work out on the treadmill.

Trying/Using
For the last year I have used and grown to love Pure Haven Essentials' basic essential oils. My favorites include Be Well and Five Defense to keep everyone healthy, Lemon and Sweet Orange to improve mood and energy, and Lavender to promote relaxation and ease anxiety. And now, Pure Haven has released two sets of four different oil blends (in roller balls! 😍) to support overall health and wellness. Set one includes Gently Sleep, Stay Calm, Just Breath, and Get Energized. Set two includes Open Mind, True Self, Be Peaceful, and With Gratitude. I have confidence that at least five of these blends will make a difference in our home and I can't wait to try them!

My kitchen stash of Pure Haven oils.

For those of you unfamiliar with PHE... PHE products are 100% free of toxins, guaranteed. The company's mission is to "educate consumers about pure, safe, alternative choices that are easy to add to your daily routine". These clean, healthy, and effective products are manufactured in small batches (so they are always fresh) in PHE's own USDA Certified Organic facility. Let me know if you'd like to learn more!

Wearing
Check out my newest t-shirt:

No truer statement has ever been made.

I am not (nor will I ever be) a teacher, but I wear this shirt proudly in honor of the many teachers I know and love.

I have also begun wearing...wait for it...adult foot undies.

Foot undies help dancers maintain stability (because a portion of their bare
feet maintains contact with the floor) while also being able to turn (because
of the soft, slightly padded bottoms under the balls of the feet).  

Foot undies are somewhat perplexing when found on the feet of an eight-year-old dancer. (Asked Tom, "are those briefs for a Ken doll?!") They are - at least in my opinion - downright strange when found on the feet of a 38-year-old dance mom. Yet here I am, wearing my foot undies and taking an occasional musical theatre, cardio dance, or "Thriller Music Video" class. I hardly recognize myself anymore...

Eating/Drinking
Here are the new, worth-noting recipes we tried this month!

• I only made one cookie from the 50 States of Cookies list: Maryland's Berger Cookie. I followed the recipe exactly, but I wasn't impressed with the final result: to me, the cake-like cookie didn't have enough weight or substance to support the heavy chocolate frosting. The recipe specifically indicated that the chocolate frosting should be the same thickness as the cookie...and I strongly disagree. An interesting twist? This cookie is Hallie's new favorite.
• On the flip side, this Coconut Cream Cheese Bundt Cake could not have tasted any better. I used a little less sugar (the coconut I had on hand was slightly sweetened) and skipped the glaze entirely and I didn't miss either.
• If coconut doesn't wet your taste buds, try this Fudge Filled Vanilla Bundt Cake. I cut the sugar to 3/4 c. and skipped the mini chocolate chips on top simply because I didn't have any, but I don't think it needed that extra garnish.
• Neither of my kids liked these Carrot Muffins, but I thought they went perfectly with coffee as a healthy - but with a hint of sweet - breakfast. I used honey instead of syrup, skipped the sugar on top, and omitted the walnuts because I thought Will would be eating the muffins. Now that I know he doesn't like them, my next batch will include walnuts for a little added protein.
• These ridiculously easy Homemade Pop Tarts went over wonderfully with both Will and Hallie. (No surprise there - the only two ingredients are pie crust and jam.) We used homemade jam bought from the Farmers' Market in Madison, made a large batch, and froze what we didn't eat that week for future school morning breakfasts.  
• This Mexican Beef and Rice Skillet works well for a busy school night meal. I only used cheese on one half because my kids don't like cheese, and I managed to cut the cooking time in half by using Uncle Ben's Ready Rice (ready in the microwave in 90 seconds) instead of adding uncooked rice to the dish and letting it simmer for 20 minutes. If you go this route, you'll only need about 1/2 c. of beef broth instead of 2 c. of beef broth. 

What's new, good, and/or interesting in your life this month? Please share!

High Five for Friday (9.29.17)

1. We made it through - with flying, glow-in-the-dark colors - our fifth annual Boosterthon Fun Run fundraiser at the kids (now just Hallie's) elementary school. Holding such a large-scale fundraiser and implementing the accompanying character building program this early in the school year comes with a host of challenges, but we believe the benefits, not the least of which is the sense of community that grows out of working toward a common goal, outweigh those challenges. Here's to another rockin' run for our 'ranglers!

Four tired, sweaty, and PROUD third graders after
their run wrapped and the lights came back on. 

Our PTO Board, our fundraising chairs, and Boosterthon's Flyin' Bryan
and Aggie Andrew midway through the day. (Yes, they all have nicknames.)

We both collapsed in an exhausted but happy
heap on the living room floor when we got home.

Oh, and when you leave your phone with Boosterthon's Brandon the Brave, he leaves you a plethora of selfies and entertaining photos.

2. A week late, the kids and I finished watching America's Got Talent. I love that show for the talent, yes, but also because Will and Hallie enjoy it as much as I do and at this stage in the parenting game I truly appreciate any common ground between the three of us.

3. This week, if it could be consolidated into one day for ease of list-making, would be my 10th favorite day of the year.

4. I had my doubts about Will taking up the cello this year, but his career as a music maker has gotten off to a good start. I haven't heard any complaints about practicing and *I think* I can hear improvement!

5. I've felt a little sentimental this week (see: Wednesday's post), so these pics of Will and Hallie brought out all kinds of emotions when they popped up on my Facebook feed. These two will always be my Happiness Highlights.

Happy Friday, Chasing Roots!

Linking up with High Five for Friday here:

 

Few Words Wednesday: This Too is Fleeting

As always, my Few Words Wednesday posts end up nearly as long as every other post I write. I had intended to post only the picture below, but best laid plans... :)

As the parents of a fifth grader and a third grader, Tom and I have reached what I would call "the thick" of parenting. We survived the hazy, sleep-deprived years of infancy, the physically exhausting years of toddlerhood, and the interrogative ("Mama, why is the sky blue? Mama, why can't the cat talk? Mama, why can't I hide in the dryer?") years of preschool. We lived to tell about sleep training, potty training, and learning to read, and we successfully sent two kids off to elementary school, supporting them as they tried a variety of different sports and activities and eventually encouraging them to develop their own individual passions.

And now, in "the thick" of parenting, all of these stages seem to have merged. Tom and I have basically become sleep-deprived, physically exhausted, human Google search engines who juggle school, extracurricular activities, sports, and passion projects, for our kids and for ourselves. We hit the ground running at 3pm (and I start preparing 90 minutes earlier), and don't stop until 8pm when we come together around the kitchen table for dinner and to relax, talk about our days, and try to stump each other with Trivial Pursuit questions.

We have jam-packed schedules and crazy busy lives...and I wouldn't change a thing.

I know many of you find yourselves in a similar place, so let's plan to "air high five" - as we pass one other in the Sonic drive-thru after school - as a sign of solidarity in our commitment to embrace and enjoy "the thick" of parenting. Because like every stage that came before, it won't last forever.

I don't believe in "glorifying busy", so please don't interpret this post as me doing so. I love this crazy life, but I also love having unscheduled downtime at home; we do our best to keep at least one weekday afternoon and one weekend day completely free. We also regularly reevaluate the kids' club memberships, organization involvement, athletic activities, etc. to make sure they are happy and not overwhelmed. This post is simply about appreciating each stage of parenting. 

Aggieland is Home.

First, thank you so much for the congratulatory remarks sent to Tom and our family with regard to last Monday's post! Both he and I appreciate your kind words now and your unending support throughout the last six...12...18 years.

Second, I realized during a brief conversation with a friend that in Monday's post I neglected to address a couple of important related details. As a result, today's post comes as something of a follow-up - an opportunity to address two "frequently asked questions".

1. What does tenure mean for Tom's career?

Many people incorrectly understand academic tenure as job security for life. Many also assume that tenure means the work load suddenly decreases and/or that recipients no longer (have to) give 100% on the job.

More accurately, tenure is an indefinite appointment but one that can be terminated for cause or under extraordinary circumstances. The status was created to protect academic freedom and those who choose to research potentially controversial topics: "the common good depends upon the free search for truth and its free exposition". Tenure does not offer job security for life. It does, however, offer a higher level of job security than private sector positions; this advantage was designed to give academic jobs a fighting chance when pitted against private sector jobs with significant financial advantages.

Tom's workload hasn't decreased in the slightest now that his title has changed from Assistant to Associate Professor. In fact, he missed the TAMU tenure reception because he had too much work to accomplish - multiple deadlines to meet - that afternoon.

While I know there exists an occasional professor who commits less of themselves to the job after receiving tenure, from what I have seen firsthand, this rarely occurs. As I wrote last Monday, the men and women who choose academia do so because of a personal commitment to expanding knowledge, advancing science, and developing the next generation of community leaders. That desire to make a difference doesn't just burn out on the day tenure is awarded.

2. What does tenure mean for your family?

When we moved to the Lone Star State at the end of 2010/beginning of 2011, we knew we would stay for at least three years. (Tenure-track professors are reviewed after three years and are at that point either given approval to continue working toward tenure or asked to find another job.) During those first three years we talked about leaving - we even put the beginnings of planning to leave into motion - multiple times. The workload and the pressure of not knowing if he would pass his review put a tremendous amount of stress and pressure on Tom, and I felt the heavy burden of (what seemed to me) my inability to keep our family on track mentally, emotionally, and physically.

When Tom passed his review, we committed to an additional three years. We decided that if he wasn't awarded tenure we could move wherever he found a new job, and if he was awarded tenure, we could consider using that leverage to secure for him a job at a college or university closer to our native Midwest and our families.

Sometimes I think about the many characteristics of Texas I dislike. (Just call me Debby Downer for a minute or two.) As I type this post on the first day of fall, the temperatures outside have climbed into the 90s and we have nearly 100% humidity. I can't stand hot weather and I have a love/hate (but mostly hate) relationship with humidity. On my back porch rests half of a lizard thanks to Tux's most recent "playdate". I despise lizards...as well as all of the critters who live around here, for that matter. This week I spent countless hours trying to figure out how to get my family of four to Northern Wisconsin for Christmas, a process that proved both logistically difficult and financially challenging. I wish we didn't live so far from our families. I could go on, but I won't...because that's not the point of this post. The point of this post, if you haven't yet figured out where I'm going, is that somehow we have created such a magnificent life for ourselves here that I - we - can overlook everything we'd rather do without in favor of embracing everything we have.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that when the time came - when the opportunities to leave arose - we would choose to stay.

A couple of weekends ago Tom and I had the surreal experience of meeting ourselves seven years ago. This young couple with two young children just relocated to Texas from across the country to pursue tenure at TAMU. They said they'd never move to Texas, yet here they are. They say they won't stay, and we get it, because we said the exact same thing more times than I could count. Texas looks, sounds, feels - IS - different from anywhere else either Tom or I have ever lived, in good ways and in ways that don't fit me quite as well...they feel the same way. I couldn't picture a life for us here...they feel the same way. But at some point, we opened our minds just enough to let Aggieland sneak in and leave its mark on our hearts...I hope they someday feel the same way.

So yes, Aggieland is home.

This pic was taken just minutes after we found out Tom would
eventually be awarded tenure. We happened to be dressed in our
Aggie best as we were on our way to watch a TAMU soccer game.

Flashback Friday: Photo Booth Treasure Trove

Disclaimer: this is the first time I've ever transferred videos from Photo Booth to the blog. I may or may not have done this correctly, but the problem is that I can't "check my work" until the post goes live. So if the videos below aren't working quite right, know that I'm working on it right now and I'll have them fixed soon!

I had forgotten all about these videos until last week, when I used my computer to take a picture of my phone. I opened Photo Booth and up they popped, eight or so attempts by the two of us to make it through five-year-old Hallie's favorite song. What a wonderful surprise to see her darling face and hear her sweet voice come alive on my screen.

And if you check out the videos yourself, I'm sure you'll be able to see and here which of us was the weakest link when it comes to building a snowman.

Happy Flashback Friday, friends!

WWW: Wednesday Web Wrap-Up

I regularly bookmark entertaining, interesting, eye-opening, and/or feel-good stories and videos, and less regularly I sort through my cache and share my favorites here. I hope the links below help you over hump day!

"Burying the dead is often a difficult and unnecessarily problematic process. How can we do better?" Something interesting to ponder...

Who would have thought an advertisement for Windex could bring out emotion like this?!
Nothing like a good cry on a Wednesday, right? Moms, grab a tissue before you click on this link.

"I just hurt with her."
Quiet compassion speaks volumes when we can't find the words.

Again with the compassion.
Another lesson, this one from a police officer.

I'm on a roll now...
We need more stories like these.

If you build it, they will come. 
A 94-year-old widow built a swimming pool in his backyard, and now spends his afternoons surrounded by a growing community of neighbors and adopted grandchildren.

I hesitated sharing these next two links because I would hate for anyone to misinterpret me doing so as me saying or thinking that husbands and dads don't work hard enough for their families. Because they do. But there is one aspect of family care - the mental load ("the mental load means always having to remember...it's permanent, exhausting, and invisible") - that almost always falls to/on the woman. There are, however, ways the person carrying the brunt of the mental load can improve her/his situation, one of which is getting the topic out in the open...so that's what I'm doing here!
"How moms bear the brunt of the mental load."
"There is a reason moms are always tired."

SNL's "Alexa Silver" sketch makes me think I should opt for this version rather than Amazon's traditional Alexa...

"Think good things, speak kind words, and do good things."
The youngest certified yoga instructor in America.

Just because I find it interesting, Mister Rogers' Cardigans of Many Colors.

I LOVE this mashup: "Can't Help Falling Over the Rainbow". I'm trying to convince Tom to learn it with me...

Baby cows like winter too.

And last but not least, something to think about:

Happy hump day, friends!

Taco - No, Tenured - Tom

For four and a half years Tom - then known as Taco Tom - worked on his Bachelor of Science degree in Industrial Engineering at the University of Iowa. For six months he worked as an industrial engineer for John Deere to gain experience in the field. For six and a half years he worked on his Masters and Doctorate Degrees in Cognitive Ergonomics at the University of Michigan. For six and a half years he worked as an Assistant Professor in the Industrial and Systems Engineering Department at Texas A&M University. 

And now, after 18 YEARS, the early mornings, late nights, weekend hours, uncertainty, stress, and at times excruciatingly hard work have finally paid off. As of September 1st, Tom is a tenured Associate Professor. 

During the two months prior to his PhD defense, Tom worked 18+ hour days finishing his dissertation. Every evening, after I finished work and picked up Will and Hallie from preschool/day care, the three of us would drive to Panera, buy Tom dinner, and deliver it to him at his office. As we pulled into the parking lot of the Engineering Building one evening, 18-month-old Hallie asked, "Daddy live here now?"

Yes, she spoke in complete sentences at 18 months old. And once she started talking she never stopped.

I mention this story because many people consider academia a "cush" career. I know I did, before I stood by Tom's side throughout this process. I thought my college professors showed up on campus to teach their classes, handed grading off to their teaching assistants, and then headed home to pick up their kids from school and make dinner for their families.

Ha.

Tom went back to work two days after both Will and Hallie were born. Hallie so saw little of her daddy during his PhD years that she thought he lived at work. Tom missed Will's first six birthdays because of a regularly-occurring and mandatory conference. Many, many times Tom has come home after I have fallen asleep, left for the day before I woke up, or slept through the rest of us heading out the door in the morning because he had been up all night. He missed out on more than he should have because he - we - chose this career path.

Academia is not for the weak, as the path to success is long and treacherous for both the individual who choses it and their family waiting in the wings. Academia is, however, for the passionate. For the hard working. For the long-term planner and big picture dreamer who longs to advance science and bring the next generation along for the ride.

Taco Tom will live on in our memories, but I think we'll start calling him Tenured Tom now. He's earned it.

Taco (or Tailgate) Tom

Tenured Tom