Wednesday, August 16, 2023

Today's the Day

Today is the first day of school. Will will start eleventh grade, and Hallie will start ninth grade. How is it possible that I have two children in high school, and that one of said two is just two years away from graduation?!

I'm not ready for them to go back...for this summer to come to an end. 

Somehow as their ages increase, (it feels like) the length of summer decreases. Summer - and my time with them - just isn't long enough, and I'm sad to close the door on yet another one, especially knowing I only have one more with Will before he graduates from high school. And one is a heartbreakingly small number when counting down.

I'm not ready, but that won't stop this train from continuing to barrel full-steam ahead.


Every year around this time I share an edited and abbreviated version of a post that has appeared here multiple times before. It reminds me of how far we've come, and to appreciate the time we have left. I hope it does the same for you.


During Will and Hallie's baby and toddler years, I found the commonly uttered phrase "enjoy every moment" both frustrating and disheartening.

You've been there, right?

It's 10am. You've been awake for five hours, and in that time you've fed your children three times, been thrown up on three times, cleaned smashed banana out of the cat's fur, changed four diapers, wiped pee up off the playroom floor, rescued a Power Ranger action figure from the toilet, unclogged the toilet, and mopped up the flooded bathroom. You haven't eaten, showered, gotten dressed, or even brushed your teeth.

How many of those moments did you enjoy?

Telling parents - especially new parents, whose days feel like weeks and whose nights require superhuman strength to endure - to "enjoy every moment" often comes across, no matter how well-intentioned, as insensitive and disconnected. These new moms and dads love their babies tremendously, but they simply aren't enjoying every moment.

And telling new parents that kids grow up so fast and time goes by so quickly? Well, those lines sound like great big lies, because in their reality, the kids aren't growing up so fast and time isn't going by so quickly. If they're anything like me when I had an infant at home, these new parents are wondering how it's possible their (according to the calendar) five-month-old won't head off to kindergarten in the fall because it feels like they've been caring for that baby for five years.

Tomorrow Will starts ELEVENTH grade, and Hallie - my BABY - starts NINTH grade. They will be a junior and freshman in high school, and HOLY SMOKES...they DO grow up so fast. Time DOES go by so quickly.

This is all quite difficult to wrap my head around, considering it seems like just yesterday I quietly stewed - and then later cried in my car - when a woman at the farmers market tousled six-month-old Will's curls and exclaimed, "what a big boy! Enjoy every moment with him!"

Where am I going with this? To be honest, I didn't know the first time I shared this post and I still don't know now, more than a decade later.

What I do know is that telling parents - of children of any age - to enjoy every moment often makes them feel worse rather than better. I know that telling new parents that kids grow up so fast or time goes by so quickly often comes off as a cliche or even a lie. And I know that while the minutes feel like hours, the hours like days, and the days like weeks when those babies are teeny tiny, at some point the clock speeds up and you can NEVER slow it back down.

Don't worry about enjoying every moment. But try to enjoy as many as you can, because kids DO grow up so fast and time DOES go by so quickly, whether you're ready or not.

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