The Last First...The First Last

Tomorrow is Will's last first day of school. Tomorrow is the first of the lasts.

Will on his first day of kindergarten.

Yes, he plans to attend college next year and he'll have a first day of school wherever he ends up. But tomorrow is the last first day on which I'll wake him up and serve him miniature powdered sugar donuts for breakfast. Tomorrow is the last first day on which he'll stand in the yard holding a sign that identifies his new grade and complain about smiling for the camera. It's his last first day with his sister. It's his last first day with me. 

More than ever before, I'm not ready for them to go back to school. I'm not ready for this summer vacation to be over. I'm not ready for my extra time with them to come to an end.

I wrote both of my kids a letter at the end of last school year. While I won't post the contents of these letters verbatim, in a nutshell I shared with Will what I wanted and wished for him this summer, his last as a "kid." I hoped he would find balance between working, volunteering, preparing for college, and playing; take good care of his physical, mental, and emotional health; experience new things and people; and prioritize time with those he loves. I acknowledged that his leaving home will be tough for him, for Tom, and for me, and that he probably already knew that. But I went on to explain that his leaving home will be equally hard - if not more so - for Hallie. 

"You are EVERYTHING to her, and she is already mourning your 'loss' a year in advance. Take this summer to solidify that relationship. Build and reinforce and fortify it so that when you do leave, it will be strong enough to withstand the physical distance between you." 

This summer Will made an effort to find balance between working, volunteering, preparing for college, and playing. He did his best to take good care of his physical, mental, and emotional health. He absolutely experienced new things and people. And he definitely prioritized those he loves. But more than anything else, he made time for his relationship with Hallie - and she made time for him as well - and they are ending this summer a stronger and closer pair than they were going into it.

This is the best/only picture I have of just the two of them
from this summer. Apparently they don't take pictures when
they're together, so I had to snap this one of them playing
in the sprinklers after soccer and dance earlier this week.

Summer vacation officially comes to an end tomorrow. I'm not ready, but when the train pulls out of the station, bound for its destination with nothing in place to stop it as it barrels down the tracks, I'll try to focus on how truly grateful I am for the wonderful (not perfect, but as I frequently tell my kids, something doesn't need to be perfect to be great) summer we all spent together.