A couple of years ago, a friend who was midway through her daughter's senior year shared that she was struggling. Her feelings were layered and complex: she was excited for the significant milestones ahead - graduation and moving on to life after high school - but at her core, she was sad. Sad her daughter's high school career and extracurriculars were coming to an end...sad her daughter would soon leave for college and the dynamic in their home would change.
An acquaintance had been part of this conversation, and after listening to my friend's feelings, the acquaintance chimed in with a response that to this day sticks with me as one of the most bizarre instances of women not supporting other women. She ridiculed my friend, telling her that her feelings - at least those of sadness - were wrong, and declared that the only acceptable emotions when a child graduates high school and ventures off on their own were happiness and excitement. My friend and I sat in stunned silence, trying to process both what we'd just been told and the fact that neither of us agreed.
Many years ago, a wise woman (the mother of this friend, incidentally) sent me an article about this stage of life. "It's not a death. It's not a tragedy. But it's not nothing either."
Throughout the last couple of years I've been presented with quite a few opportunities to learn and then reinforce the concept that "two things can be true." This stage of life is a perfect example of that concept: my friend could feel both sad that one chapter of her life, her daughter's life, and their family's life together was coming to an end and happy and excited for her daughter. And now, I can feel both sad that one chapter of my life, Will's life, and our family's life together is coming to an end and happy and excited for Will. This is not a death, or a tragedy. But it's not nothing either.
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We did our graduation dinner on graduation eve, since the ceremony didn't start until 8pm, and we were joined by both my parents and Tom's parents.
Graduation took place on a warm, humid summer(esque) night, which is evident as you scroll through the pictures and look at our hair. In addition to the grandparents, my friends and their daughters/Hallie's friends joined us for the ceremony. How lucky we are to have people in our lives who show up.
One of my favorite aspects of our graduation ceremony is the "hug line" - all of the high school teachers line up to say goodbye to (and sometimes take selfies with) the seniors after they cross the stage.
After the ceremony, everyone mingles outside - in the humidity, if you recall - until the campus police make you go home. It was a great night.
It's hard to believe this chapter - graduation, senior year, high school, his childhood - has come to an end. What a gift to have lived it so fully and to be so sad it's over.